Monday, March 30, 2009

Grab The Popcorn!

We introduced Emerson to one of my literary and cinematic heroes tonight.

Rosalind Russell as Auntie Mame.

She was introduced to me by my grandmother when I was about Emerson's age.

If you've never seen this movie, by all means, do. It's a must.

Here's the original trailer.

And just remember; "Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

Johnny Depp Monday!

This picture is from the movie "Rum Diaries" that comes out early next year.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

The Wedding

Matt did an excellent job at the wedding last night! I am so proud of him.

As for me? I tried, I really did.

But the only thing that comes to mind is that famous quote by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich:

"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History"

I'm going back to bed now.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Six Word Saturday!

Must Be on My Best Behavior!

(Matt's officiating a wedding today and there is nothing more off putting than the preacher's wife getting all sloppy drunk)

If you would like to join 6 Word Saturday, go here to see Cate

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Find Your Own Old Man, This One is Mine!!!!!!

Things have been going a little better around here. Thanks to my good friend Poetikat for reminding me of Valerian Root. This wonderful herb that will help you stay asleep. I actually had some when she mentioned it and almost kicked myself for not thinking of it sooner.

I also want to thank my good friend Iggy over at Intense Guy for bestowing this award on to me.

I'm not sure if I ever posted a picture of my ankles, but he knows real talent when he reads about it.

It reminds me of my Grandmother, she used to wear heels everyday to work, even when she had to stand behind the Customer Service counter at JC Penneys all day at age 70.

She would stand in front of the mirror in her 3" heels and say, "Don't I have the most beautiful legs?" "Everyone tells me what gorgeous legs I have."

She also once said to my sister "Shut up, you little asshole!" Which puts her as hero status in my book. But that's a story for another time.

Speaking of my sister, Erin, I want to share a text conversation that Erin and I had today.

Me: Murphy's Romance is on sale at Border's for $8.99.

Erin: I love that movie!

Me: Me too! I LOVE James Garner!

Erin: Is he dead?

Me: No, he's not dead. He's my George Burns. (Ever since Erin was a little girl, she's had a thing for George Burns)

Erin: George Burns is dead!

Me: But James Garner isn't

Erin: So why are you rubbing it in that George Burns is dead? Asshole.

Me: I am stating a fact for your scorecard...George Burns dead...James Garner not dead.

Erin: Once again, rubbing it in that your favorite old man is NOT DEAD while mine is. Rude.

Me: You have to pick a new old man like I did. I used to love Robert Preston and he died so now I love James Garner. It's the circle of life.

Erin: I'm not over George yet.

Me: It's been 13 years.

Erin: Okay. My new favorite old man is...James Garner.

Me: You can't have him!

Erin: Oh yes I can!!

Me: Oh no you can't!!

Erin: Oh yes I can. I loved The Notebook! It's my new favorite movie.

Me: I will not share James Garner with you! Pick someone else! What about Sean Connery or Michael Caine?

Erin: No thanks.

Me: You can have Robert Redford AND Jack Nicholson.

Erin: Nope.

Me: PICK SOMEONE ELSE OR I'M TELLING MOM! What about Robert Duvall?

Erin: Which one is that?

Me: He played Tom Hagen the Consigliere in The Godfather.

Erin: Doesn't ring a bell.

Me: Did you see Secondhand Lions? He was the one who wasn't Michael Caine.

Erin: Yes. The tough one?

Me: yes

Erin: I did like that movie. Who was in it with him?

Me: The one who is not Robert Duvall is Michael Caine and Haley Joel Osmond is the one who was neither Michael Caine or Robert Duvall.

Erin: I like Michael Caine a lot.

Me: You can totally have him and I'll throw in Peter O'Toole from "My Favorite Year".

Erin: No thanks. I don't want Peter. I'll take Michael Caine.

Me: Good Choice.

Grandma was right, she's a little Asshole!!! Will not give up my old man until I dangle a shiny new old man to distract her.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Wednesday Haiku For You!

Though problems arise

There's nothing we can't handle

If we're together

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

My Kingdom For A Good Night's Sleep!!!!

Why is it that when I get home from work, I am so tired I can barely keep my eyes open? But when I go to bed, I am only asleep for about an hour and all of a sudden, I am wide awake?

Last night, I was having the hardest time staying awake through dinner, the girls bath time, and blogging. I finally decided that we were all going to bed at 8:30. The girls were asleep instantly and so was Matt. I fell asleep pretty quick as well.

Feeling quite rested, I wake up, turn over to look at the clock. It's 10pm. I have only been asleep of about an hour and a half. I roll over and go back to sleep. I do this again at 12am, 3am, and 5am. Each time it is getting harder and harder to fall back asleep.

I know that sometimes I wake up because I'm hot, sometimes because I hear a noise. But I think my biggest problem is falling back asleep. I start thinking about stuff and then I get anxiety and can't relax.

Without getting into too much detail, we are having huge problems in our little corner of the world. Because problems are what they are, they don't wait for one to be solved before piling on more. I feel overwhelmed and all alone.

I'm not sure how blogging or commenting are going to fit in right now, but I'm going to try my hardest not to fall off the face of the earth.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Johnny Depp Monday!

Anyone up for a shower?

Water looks pretty inviting!!

Sunday, March 22, 2009

It Spring!!!

Which means renewal, a fresh start. It is time to open the windows and let out that stale winter air. It's time to paint your house, clean you hardwood floors, and box up the stuff for the future garage sale. It's SPRING CLEANING TIME!!!!!!

While Matt sleeps on the couch, I am coming up with a plan of action. Matt and the girls will be home all week, and trust me, each day there will be a list.

Now, you might think that I am some sort of Patton-like militant tyrant. But in my defense, Matt has been home for a while now and the only thing that's been cleaned is the Wii remote.

There is a lot of things that need to be done, and I'm afraid that the hot weather is going to be upon us sooner than we think and Matt will be back to working the really crazy hours until the fall.

So, it's now or never people!!! It's do or die!!! Take no prisoners...except I will be taking prisoners each day. When I leave for work each morning, the keyboard to the computer and the Wii remotes will mysteriously end up in my bag.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

I. Am. Livid.

That Succubus is at it again and this time it's not my kid she's torturing.

As some of you know, there is no love loss between Emerson's 4th grade teacher and myself. If you didn't know, you can read about it here.

The second semester of 4th grade has been a much better experience for our family. As I had predicted, it just took Emerson a little more time to adjust to 4th grade, and now she has gained her sea legs.

With just a little coaxing from us, she has become much more organized. She writes all of her homework down in her assignment book, her desk is neater and her homework is getting in on time. Each week, if her Friday note is good, she get to do something special on Friday night.

Every trimester, if the kids get fewer than 5 late slips they get an ice cream sundae. Last trimester Emerson didn't make it and I felt terrible. I was convinced she was the only one who didn't make it.

This trimester, she did make it. When we got our weekly newsletter that the teacher wrote how happy she was that so many more kids made it this time, 8 all together.

8??!!!! That's not even half of the class!!!! How many made it last time? She even wrote that she was so proud of one of the students, she went from having 44 late slips to only having 6. But alas, she had more than 5 so she doesn't get ice cream. WTF??? A child improves that much and you can't throw her a bone? Shouldn't you look at the individual achievements?

So, ice cream sundae day came and that evening, we asked Emerson how it went. That's when she told us. The eight children sat in the middle of a circle of desks eating their ice cream while all the other children sat around them doing their work, watching them enjoy the treat.

Emerson said that some of the kids eating ice cream were almost taunting the children who weren't eating it.

One boy said, to no one in particular, that he would really love some ice cream.

The teacher replied "Then you should have worked harder."

Now, I ask you, what is the point of this? Why couldn't the kids who got the treat not go out for recess one day and have their ice cream without an audience? Why couldn't the teacher give the kids McDonald's bucks for $1 so they could get a sundae on their own?

The one thing that I try my hardest to teach my children is empathy. I love her school because it's the only school in the district that has uniforms. It really eliminates the problem of the haves and the have nots.

Why did she have to make such a spectacle of what one group of kids got and not the other?

I am so mad, I want to call and complain to the principle.

What do you guys think, am I overreacting?

Thursday, March 19, 2009

We Are Sort of At An Impasse.

Recently, Matt has noticed a new behavior in me. Something that, I'm sure, comes as no surprise to any of you, but has caused him great disbelief.

When he brought this new behavior to my attention, I merely told him that it was no big deal. He begs to differ.

We are at an impasse, so he blogged about it.

What do you think? No big deal, right? That's what I thought.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Wednesday Haiku For You

I am exhausted!

I love the extra daylight,

but I need more sleep!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

Chokes me up every time!

Monday, March 16, 2009

Johnny Depp Monday

Saturday, March 14, 2009

My Third and Final Review

I figured that I would end my series of Adult Toy reviews with what I refer to as a level 3 in my kink-o-meter. I would say that there are probably 5 levels in the kink-o-meter. One being prudish, with 5 being freaky.

The third item that we picked from Eden Fantasys is called the Liquid Latex Kit.

Before I start the review, I feel the need to explain why we might have picked this particular product.

First, Matt and I had once watch the program "Real Sex" on HBO and we saw a woman called "The Baroness" she was an aficionado of latex. They filmed one of her latex seminars and it looked quite interesting to us. There was a whole "shining the latex" that seemed so sensual.

Not being ones who can afford the $650+ for a little fun, it was going to have to stay a fantasy.

Until this little adult opportunity presented itself.
The second reason is more about Matt. See, he not only has that Princess Leia in the gold bikini fantasy, but he is somewhat of a comic book geek.

He really REALLY likes the heroines (and villains for that matter) in the tight latex costumes.

So, when we saw this kit, we knew that we had to try it.

The kit includes, 1 jar of Latex Body Cosmetics. 1 bottle of Latex Body Wash, 2 applicator brushes, 1 bottle of Latex Ultra Shine, 1 jar of Rainbow Metallic Pearl Powder and a facial dust mask. (to be used with the Powder)

I have to say that this was definitely the highlight of the evening. Matt painted me because he didn't want to have to deal with shaving his chest or trying to get latex out of his chest hair. It was a lot of fun. You can definitely let your imagination run away with you. He painted a sort of strapless bodysuit on me.

The only thing I can suggest is that when you use it, you crank up the heat. After all, you are sitting there naked waiting for the latex to dry.

One thing that is just as fun as applying the latex is peeling it off. Do you remember when you used to get glue on your fingers and you peeled it off in large strips? This was better.

The instructions said that it smelled, but it really didn't. I was worried that I was going to have latex in my belly button for the rest of my life, but it came off just fine.

The only thing that I wish we did differently was to leave it on longer. We could have more fun, if I wasn't so cold.

All in all, I give the Liquid Latex kit 5 out of 5 lips! And one for good luck!

You can find this as well as all of your other Adult toy and Adult Gift needs at

Friday, March 13, 2009

I've Been a Bad Bloggy Friend!

First off let me say that I am very sorry that I have been absent from commenting the last few days.

I am not trying to make excuses for this, but I do have 2 reasons.

First, I told you guys in my Haiku that I had fallen and hurt my knee. I hurt it pretty bad. The way it happened was that on Tuesday I wore my very favorite (at the moment) shoes. I had bought them at a resale shop called Plato's closet and I only paid $10. Because they are opened toe, if the weather is about 55 degrees, I wear them, no matter what.

On Tuesday it was going to be a high of 64 and, unfortunately, raining. When I got to work, I dried my shoes off pretty good on the mats, went to my desk, grabbed my coffee cup and waffle, and went to go to the canteen. (We call it that because it's a Scottish company and they call it that) I stepped off the carpet on to the tile and all of a sudden my feet were out from under me. I must have stepped on a wet spot on the floor and landed on my right knee. It's really too bad that I could stick the landing, and impress the judges a little bit. I am nothing if not graceful.

My knee swelled to 3 times it's size and throbbed like it had it's own heartbeat. I was too embarrassed to let on that I was really hurt, so I just went through the rest of my day as if nothing happened. That night all I did was lay on the couch icing it.

The next day it wasn't much better, I called my Chiropractor to cancel my appointment.

He talked me into coming in stating that he was in fact an actual doctor and he could look at it and tell me if I needed to go to get an x-ray. It turns out that I don't need one. Just some rest and ice.
Most of the time, when I'm not at work, I am on the couch icing my knee. It hurts, after a long day, to sit at my computer at home. (another reason Matt needs to buy me that laptop) But it is feeling much better now.

The second reason is actually some of your fault.

Last week I posted a little video of one of my favorite shows, Reaper. The comments that you guys left stated that it looked like another show, Dead Like Me.

I had never heard of it, so I looked it up online and was actually able to watch the first episode on YouTube. Matt and Emerson watched it with me and that's all it took. Last Friday, we went to Best Buy and bought the boxed set. It includes both seasons of the show and the movie.

So, shamefully, I have been on the couch icing my knee completely obsessed with the show Dead Like Me. But I'm back now and I will be commenting on all of your blogs.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Acid Flashback Friday

Before I give you this week's flashback Friday, I have a little story to tell.

Let me set the stage for you, Christmas 1993. My sister Erin is just about to open her Christmas present from my then boyfriend Matt.

A few weeks earlier, Matt had stood in line all night to get Erin her Christmas present. He got her tickets to see New Kids on The Block in the spring, her very favorite group at the time.

The look on Erin's face when she opened that little box that contained 2 tickets was priceless. She jumped up and down screaming and hugging Matt at the same time. It was a really heartfelt family moment.

Until 2 months later, when we got the awful news that NKOTB disbanded for good. Never to be heard from again.

Fast forward to March 2009, I'm at work and my phone rings. I pick it up only to hear screams and gurgling noises.

In sort of a panic, I demand that the person on the other end calm down and tell me what was going on! It was Erin, she was calling me to tell me that one of her friends had surprised her with tickets to see New Kids on The Block and she was so excited she was finally going to get to see them. She had to call me right away.

Last night was the concert and even though they are a little older and a little wiser, they probably can't do as many moves as they used to and they have definitely moved away from teen idol status, I hope they were everything she wanted them to be.

So, this week's Flashback Friday is dedicated to Erin, grasping a little part of her youth that eluded her for so long!

Remember Erin, keep Hangin' Tough!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Review Part II

The second review I have in the adult toy series from Eden Fantasys is for a game called Sex Casino Game.

This box contains 25 "outrageously fun bedroom games". The games include things like strip poker, sexy spinner, sexy dice and scratch and win cards.

As far as my "kink" level goes, this is definitely a 1. This game is really great if you want to spice things up in the bedroom and have absolutely no idea where to start. Very good for the reserved, and in case you haven't noticed, that's not really Matt and I. We would probably whip this game out at a party for everyone to play together.

Not that I'm saying we didn't have fun with it, it's just that the games are more like a jumping off point and we are already neck deep in the pool.

Each game takes about 15-20 minutes to play with the scratch off cards taking less time and strip poker taking more time. Most of the games give you little combination of things to try on your partner. The dice game has actions on one dice and body parts on another, you roll them together and then either give or receive.

The spinner game is along the same lines, the actual spinner has little commands all over it and you take turns spinning. Whatever you land on, you can either give or receive.

All in all, the games were cute. We did have fun playing the dice game, but every time Matt rolled, he got "nibble booty" and I was not about to bite his ass!

You can get this game or any of your other adult toy or adult gift at They have an incredible assortment of all kinds of fun games to play.
I give Sex Casino Game 2 Lips.

Wednesday Haiku For You!

I fell down today

Knee hurts, but it serves me right

Stylish but deadly!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Review Part I

Now the moment that you all (or most of you) have been waiting for. Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you The Artemis!

This masterful little gem is one of the items that I received from Eden Fantasys. When Matt and I were going through the website, I knew that this type of adult toy was a definite choice. We went through the many that they have on the site and picked this one solely on the look of it.

As hard as we stared at it, we couldn't quite figure it out from the picture and it that intrigued us all the more. It has all of these little spikes all over it. And it has one of those things like The Rabbit that will hit just the right spots.

I have to say that this particular product does not disappoint. The spikes are really soft and flexible and it has 2 different modes. One is to vibrate and the other one is called swing and it makes it oscillate like a washing machine. Plus it comes in your choice of three different colors; pink, green or blue.

Now, this is not the most discreet toy on the market, it does get pretty loud. The speeds are controled by two small dials located on the base. At it's highest speed this device can easily be heard through a closed door. So this toy should not be used if you don't have complete privacy.

The only real problem I found with the Artemis is that that box it came in says that it takes 4 AAA batteries. We went out and got them and when we returned we found out that it actually takes 4 AA batteries. Matt had to get dressed again and go out to get the right size.

Other than that small glitch, I can foresee many years enjoying the Artemis as long as we keep the right size batteries in the house.

You can get the Artemis as well as other adult toys and/or adult gifts at

The review for the next item is going to be on Thursday of this week. I picked 3 things from the site that I can only describe as 3 levels of "kink". This one was the second level. The next review is for the first level of kink, The Sex Casino Game.
The Artemis gets 3.5 lips out of 5

Monday, March 9, 2009

Johnny Depp Monday!

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Busy, Busy Weekend.

We received our special package on Thursday. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, I was asked to review some adult toys and the ones I picked arrived Thursday.
Because I work full time and am a mother of 2 girls, both of which have problems staying in their own bed at night, I was having scheduling issues on when to use said products.
Matt asked me on Friday to get my mom to watch the girls overnight on Saturday. After a few calls, I coordinated it. Matt's mom was going to drop Vivi off at the bowling alley on Saturday, and then after Emerson bowls, we were going to take the girls downtown to my mom's house. Also, on Saturday, I had a Chiropractor appointment and I needed to get to the diet doctor because I was almost out of pills.
So, we left the house on Saturday morning at 8:15am to get to the Chiropractor at 9. After that appointment, I texted my friend Katie and her and her son Tyler met us for breakfast at Denny's.
After breakfast, we went to the bowling alley and Matt, Tyler and Emerson went in while Katie and I drove over to the diet doctor.

After that appointment, ( I lost 4 lbs. YAY!!) we went back to the bowling alley to catch the 3rd game and for me to find out that Matt's mom isn't dropping Vivi off. The weather was pretty crappy (rain) and Vivi was pretty tired and crabby. She was going to keep Vivi for another night.
After bowling, Matt said that we needed to go home before we took Em down to my mom's. When we got home, Emerson grabbed a bunch of Wii games (mom had gotten a Wii that day) and Matt told me to pack a bag for the night. When I asked him where we were going, he just said that it was a surprise but I didn't need to bring anything fancy, just a change of clothes and some toiletries. I also caught him packing the box that we received on Thursday.
After dropping Emerson off, we started heading North. Every time I would ask Matt where we were going, he would simply say "This way."
As we were driving, I was like a 5 year old in the car, "Are we there yet?" "Are we there yet?"
"How about now?' But he still wouldn't tell me.
Finally, we reached our destination, the Lake Lawn Resort in Delavan, Wisconsin. It was stunning, even in the rain!

We went into our room and it was gorgeous! A king size bed, 32"LCD TV, whirlpool bathtub and a balcony.

It was about 6pm now, and we were starving, so we went to find some dinner. I had seen a sign for a place called Joseph's Steak House and it sounded pretty good.

When we got there, we were a little confused. There was a restaurant that looked like it used to be a house and the sign said North Shore Bar and Grill. The GPS said that this was the place so we went to investigate.

When we walked in the door, it turns out that this building housed 2 restaurants. To the right was Joseph's and to the left was North Shore Bar and Grill but they shared the same entrance. But as it turns out, that's not all they shared, but also, the bar and kitchen.

We turned right and walked into Joseph's and looked around. It seemed a little fancy. When we saw the reservation book and the very old lady in the Laura Ashley dress look at us disapprovingly, we turned around a walked into the bar.

This was more our style. We ordered cheeseburgers, fried mushrooms and beers. It was so good and we even got to catch some of Puerto Rico kick Panama's butt in the World Baseball Series game.

After dinner, we stopped at Walmart to get some pop, snacks and batteries and then headed back to the resort.

I will review the first product on Tuesday, so be sure to look for it. It's called the Artemis.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Acid Flashback Friday!

Because this week celebrated Chicago's own Adrian Zmed's birthday, I decided to post this little flashback.

Just so you know, this is what it's like every Wednesday at my league.

I don't really want to be a stickler for the rules, but one or two of these bowlers might be a bit over the foul line. Just sayin'

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Obviously, You Guys Need Some Schoolin'

Because all of you commented that you had never heard of Reaper, I decided to post this little video.

This show is an absolute riot! Check your local listings.

I don't have Showtime, so I've never seen Dead Like Me. I did look it up and I can watch it online, so I will be checking it out.

So happy it's back

Reluctant bounty hunters

Ben, Sam and Sock too.

Monday, March 2, 2009

I've Been Tagged to Reveal My Inner Freak.

Some of you who have been reading this blog for a while know about my quirks. But Donnetta over at Life in the Fast Lane tagged to list 6 weird things about me. Some of these maybe repeats, but I'll try to dig deep and come up with some of the newer quirks that I have developed.

1) I love watching the last episodes of TV shows that I never watched at all when it was on. I never understand what's going on, but I enjoy it just the same. I feel if I miss the last episode, I'm missing out.

2) Even though I may own a movie on DVD, if it comes on TV, I have to watch it. Even if it's cut and has commercials.

3) I'm found a boutique in Chicago that will dress you up as a pin-up and take your picture. I'm going in later this month. But I have to go by myself because none of my friends will do it with me.

4) I get really mad at Matt when he works too much and then I get really mad when he doesn't work.

5) I cry at parades, all parades. Even when we go to the Gay Pride Parade, I tear up.

6) I feel really bad for some of the Disney villains. Take Cinderella's stepmother, all she wanted was a better life for her daughters and because they were unfortunate looking, she did what she thought she had to do.

I'm not going to tag anyone, but if you want to leave your weirdest in the comments, feel free.

Johnny Depp Monday

Looks good walking away too.