Wednesday's Haiku to You

Boy, will they get you

A nickel here, a dime there

We were Disney's Bitch

"V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N...."

"We're gonna have a ball!"

I will not be posting for the next couple of day, we are going to Disney World!!!! So this is gonna have to tide you over.

I was reading over my blog and I decided that I complain about my husband a lot. I must give the completely wrong impression about our marriage. So, let's reminisce about my relationship.

When I was a freshman in high school, I had to see this play for drama class. Matt was a senior and he was in the play and truly the only one I remember. A mutual friend introduced us, but me being a lowly freshman, he was not interested.

A year later, I met a girl in another drama class and she introduced me to her college boyfriend, it was Matt!! We all started hanging around together and eventually they broke up. (I had nothing to do with it!) We still hung out as friends and my junior year he asked me out. I was 16 and he was 20. My mother had a fit!!! But we stayed together, give or take the month where we broke up but got right back together. At 19 I was engaged, at 22 I was married and at 26 I was a mother. We have been through a lot, death of his dad, my mom's cancer, financial difficulties, etc. There was times when I thought about throwing in the towel, but never really serious. I truly could never imagine my world without him. He is my family and my best friend.

We do fight, but most of the time it's funny. He is my favorite sparring partner, we sometimes play argue just to blow off steam, but it's never said or taken serious. When we do fight for real, it never lasts long.

So when you read something that I say about him, remember, he has also read it. (He's my biggest fan) It is all in good fun and with a smile on my face.


I will be back next week in time for Wednesday's Haiku for You. But for Johnny Depp Monday, you are just going to have to imagine him naked. I know that what gets me through the day.

Wednesday's Haiku to You

For a good night's sleep

I would give up my kingdom

Matt, shut off your nose

There is Always Room for Jello

I was using the self checkout today when I overheard a couple who was at the self checkout next to me.

This is how it went:

Woman: “You bought the wrong pudding!”

Man: “What? I did?”

Woman: “You bought SWISS MISS!!”

Man: “Sorry, I thought I grabbed Jello.”

Woman: “WELL YOU DIDN'T, DID YOU?” “YOU GRABBED SWISS MISS!!” "NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO EXCHANGE IT FOR THE JELLO!!"

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!"


Tempers flared, so I high tailed it out of there before there was some sort of hostage crisis.

I’m a Snak-Pak girl myself.

Johnny Depp Monday

Well, It's Happened...

My Baby has turned 9!! Can you believe it? She's a TWEEN!!!!

I have no idea where the time has gone, but I am putting a stop to it, she is absolutely forbidden to get any older!

I think this is as good a time as any to tell the wonderful story of when that alien woman rang my doorbell, handed her over and said "TFFTS WHAOOPF FQOIDT" and walked away.

I suppose it didn't happen quite like that, but I'm apparently old now, let see if I can remember the real story.

Emerson was late, I'm not talking a day or two, she was 2 weeks late!!! At this point I was making Matt drive over railroad tracks in hopes that I would go into labor. We went to the doctor on a Thursday and I was done! After all, I had a 2 week old child inside of me. The doctor's agreed and scheduled the induction for Monday morning. We were to be at the hospital at 6am, but we woke up at 6:30. I allegedly set the alarm wrong. Somehow, we managed to get dressed and to the hospital at 7am, 1 hour late. At this point, I was convinced that we couldn't possibly be good parents, I mean we couldn't even make it in time for her birth!!!

They got me in the bed and strapped on the monitor and it turns out I was already starting labor. So, any concern that I had that this child was going to stay inside me, were gone. They helped me along with the Pitocin and we were on our way. A couple of hours went by and the pain was beginning to be unbearable. I have a very low tolerance for pain, VERY LOW, so it was time for the Epidural. Things were better from that point on.

Then it was time to push, so I did, ALOT. She would not budge. At the end of 2 hours the doctor came in and told me that I had 1 more hour to get this baby out. We had no idea what Emerson was, she keep her legs crossed during the Ultrasound, and I for one was convinced she was a boy. At the 2 hour point my doctor told me that he was sure it was a girl, "No boy would ever do this to his mother."

At the 3 hour mark, she still was stuck! They were trying to decide what they wanted to do when the fetal monitor went off. The baby wasn't recovering from the contractions and the heart rate was dropping. The decision was made; C-section!

The threw a hat on my head, had me sign a paper and I was literally whisked down the hall. The only thing we had to wait for was Matt. He had to get all the gear on. 8 minutes later they told me I had a baby. But I didn't hear it cry, and they didn't tell what it was. With a quick pinch on the butt, a little squeak came out and they told me it was a girl!!!

Emerson Erin

born: 4/19/99

time: 8:09 pm

height: 19.5"

weight: 7. lbs. 11 oz

Here's were the story takes an amusing twist. After all was said and done, they put in my room for the night. Matt stayed with me and this is how the conversation went:

Matt: "My feet hurt!"

Me: "mffft"

Matt: "My feet are killing me!" "Every time you pushed, I held your leg, and I went up on my toes, and they rubbed against the tops of my work boots."

Me: "MFFFT"

Matt went down to the nurses station and got ice for his toes. When he came back, he continued;

Matt (shaking me awake): "I have blisters on my toes!"

Me (annoyed): "I'm sorry, guess what happened to me today?"

Matt : "What?"

Me : They cut me open and took a human being out of me!!"

Matt: "Sorry, I won't complain about my feet anymore tonight."

Me: " I think that would be best."

And that is how we went from semi-intelligent people, to blithering idiot parents, who have no idea what they are doing on a daily basis. Even after 9 years.

OY, What a Week!!

Sunday

It started out when I made myself a piece of toast. I took one bite of it and all I could taste was mold. I voiced my complaint to Matt and he took a bite and said it was fine and ate the rest of it. He told me to make myself another piece but I refused, citing that if this one was moldy, the others are too. He promptly went into the kitchen and inspected the remaining pieces of bread. With quite a smirk on his face, he showed me that there was not a speck of mold on any of the bread. Convinced I was right, I insisted on sniffing every inch of each of the slices until I was able to pin-point the exact location of the invisible mold. So, Matt threw the bread away and ran out the door before I was able to tell him that I no longer had a taste for toast. When he came back with new bread, he was none too pleased with me.

Monday

I was informed by my daughter that we were out of my special cookies. Each evening I have 5 chewy chips ahoy cookies heated up in the microwave and a glass of milk. It’s my thing and I have done it for years. Recently, it has come to my attention that everyone in the house now enjoys my cookies, even though I buy them their own cookies. So I went to bed without dessert.

Tuesday

Still no cookies!! When I complained, Matt told me that there were the store brand cookies that I can have but he was definitely not going to the store for me. I don’t like the store brand cookies, I ONLY LIKE CHEWY CHIPS AHOY!!!! He did not budge from his position. Apparently, the cookie battle is one that he chooses to fight.

Finally, I was jonesing so bad for the chewy goodness, I announced that the store brand cookies will be fine, but I only want 3 but cooked the same amount of time in the microwave. (It was very reminiscent of “When Harry met Sally”) I made that announcement and didn’t move from the couch. After a few minutes, Matt breathed a very heavy sigh and got up and went into the kitchen. This is how the conversation went;

Matt “You are some piece of work!”

Me “What did I do?”

Matt “You announce that you want the store brand cookies, yet you make no effort to actually go and get them.”

Me “Why are you being such an ass??!!”

Matt “Me??!?!!?” “I’m making you your damn cookies!!!”

Me “You know, there are 100 guys who would love to make me my cookies!!!!”

Matt (startled) “What was that pounding???”

Me (now startled) “What pounding? I didn’t hear anything.”

Matt “It must be those 100 guys pounding on the door to make you your cookies”

Me “Smart Ass!!”


Wednesday

The cookie standoff continues. He won’t buy the cookies and now I’m on Webkinz strike. I will only play games on Emerson’s Webkinz


Thursday

This was the worst day yet!!! As I mentioned before I am an avid reader and I like to get my books at Half Priced Book Store. It turns out you can also sell your books there too. While I was in my closet that morning I noticed that I had a ton of hardcover books on the shelves in there. I took them all down and dusted them off. They were in good condition, so I decided to box them up and bring them to the store. After all, I needed to get the 4th book in the series that I am currently reading. So I boxed up 15 books and lugged them to the car. At my lunch break, I drove over there and l lugged the box in the store. They informed me that it was going to be 30 minutes but I had to stay in the store because it could be earlier. I agreed and ran over to shelves to get my new book. They didn’t have it. They had all the other ones from the series except #4. Unbelievable!!! I grabbed 5 and 6 but I can’t even read the backs in case it gives something away. Finally I was called to the counter for my offer. I walked up there and they said that for my 15 hardcover books they would offer me…$2.50!!!!!! Not a piece, but for all of them!! So, by the end of the experience; I had $2.50, a 10% off coupon and I still spent $5.

The good news is that the Webkinz strike worked. I got my cookies last night and I went on his Webkinz and won him a trophy.

There are just some days that I truly believe that I am on some kind of reality show and I’m not aware of it. Just like “The Truman Show”

You guys would tell me, right?

Wednesday's Haiku to You

Why must you persist

I already told you no

No bath for the cat

Johnny Depp Monday

Reasons Why Matt is a Saint to Put Up With Me

1) I'm obsessed with the movie "Dreamgirls" and I have to put on my Diana Ross wig and watch it every time it's on cable.

2) I seem to have a knack of losing the tie for the bread every time I open it. It's just disappears.

3) I have 3 closets of "nothing to wear"

4) I am able to watch TV, read a book, and be on the computer at the same time.

5) My addiction to Caribou Coffee.

6) As he puts it "I would argue with myself in the mirror"

7) I will not call for pizza and I run into my bedroom when it shows up.

8) I swear A LOT!! Truck drivers blush around me.

9) If he's in arms length, I will pinch him.

10) I have a hard time remembering that he is my husband, not my minion.

I'm sure there is a much longer list of why I put up with him. At the end of the day it's all about checks and balances.

Back off Ladies...He's all MINE!

So, I was watching a small documentary about a family who went back to Ireland to see the relatives who stayed instead of coming to America. Matt looks over and this is what he honestly said. "Ooooh, I saw a clip of this once, they go to the place that they thought they came from and it turns out they are really from Sweden." "It's HYSTERICAL!"

It took me a minute and then I realized that he was talking about this CitiBank Commerical.

It's a good thing he's pretty.

Wednesday's Haiku to You

Some other bloggers have dedicated Wednesdays to "Wordless Wednesdays" which I think is a great idea. They put up a nice picture that doesn't need any explanation.



In my overly articulate lifestyle, I find that very difficult to do, so I am dedicating Wednesdays to Haikus that I have written. So each Wednesday will be "Wednesday's Haiku to You"



For those of you that may have forgotten what a Haiku is, it is a 3 lined Japanese style poem. It doesn't have to rhyme, but it has to have certain syllables per line. The rules are:

5 syllables

7 syllables

5 syllables

So here is the first installment of Wednesday's Haiku to You.

Sitting on a beach

Shocked, I turn so not to see

Neon green Speedo

I will have gem like this each and every Wednesday, so stay tuned.

If you have a Haiku that you would like me to read, please leave it in the comments.

The Webkin Sweatshop

Emerson and Matt now each have 7 webkins a piece. This is getting absurd. Every time Matt leaves the house he comes back with something Webkins. So far he brought home trading cards, figurines, and bookmarks. We have the regular Webkins and we have the Littlekins. And everything has a code so you can go online, put in the code and get something free. Everyone seems to be very happy, Vivi gets new stuff animals to play with and Matt and Emerson have their online worlds to have fun with.

That was until the other day. I was curious about the things that you do for these little guys online, so I watch Matt play a game. It was called Quizzy's Word Challenge and it was like the game Boggle. While I was watching, I was helping. Then it dawned on Matt, I was really good at this game. It turns out I am really good at a couple of the games and the better you are, the more money you make.

So now I am the hottest commodity in that house. Everyone needs Mommy. Matt has even taken to making dinner at night so I can sit and play games and make them more money. When I came home last night Emerson showed me their new littlekins and when I asked when am I going to get a Webkin, I was told that I can't have one. Apparently, I am only there to help them. They are afraid that if I get one, I will play on mine and not on theirs.

It's nice to be needed, and I do have to say that I have the MAD SKILLS! But I'm starting to feel like I'm in a Webkins sweatshop.

Johnny Depp Monday

This was reported on The BostonHerald.com

Johnny Depp turned into a real-life action hero on the set of his latest crime drama, “Public Enemies,” and saved a group of extras from being struck down by an out-of-control car, British tabloid News of the World reports. Depp, 44, was reportedly shooting a scene as bank robber John Dillinger when a stunt driver in a 1933 Ford sped onto a patch of ice and skidded towards six extras, who were standing with their backs turned, oblivious to the danger. But according to an eyewitness, the “Sweeney Todd” star stepped into action and “slammed into the group with arms outspread, shoving them all back,” just in the nick of the time! According to the News, no one was hurt.

I am speechless!!!!

I'm Back

It has come to my attention that I might have been slacking this week. I haven't posted since Tuesday and my one fan has taken exception to it.


So this one is for the kid in the back.


I don't know what it is but I am having an overwhelming feeling to try something new. Anything new. I must be in some kind of rut. This feeling has been going on since September. At that time I cut off all my hair. The feeling came back in December and I started up blogging again. In January, I put in pink streaks. When it came back in March, I started green smoothies in the morning. I enjoyed all of these things and continue to do them. (I let the pink streaks fade, but I have the stuff and I'll probably do it again today.) In between doing these things, a new book can usually satisfy my mysterious quest.

Now I'm stuck. The new "adventure" that I am seeking is to learn to knit. I have looked it up and there is a yarn store that is walking distance from my house. They offer a 4 week beginners class. With a quick glance at the Chandler I won't be able to take the class until the beginning of May. :( I am taking the girls to Disney World with my mom to meet my sister and celebrate my nephew's birthday and if I am going to pay $76 dollars for a 4 week class, I'm not going miss a single one!

So May it is. And now I am currently searching for something else "new" to do. As always, I welcome...no, CRAVE your comments, and if anyone has any suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment. If you are unaware of how to leave one, just click on the word comments that is on the bottom of each of my posts. You can be anonymous, and I promise that I will read all of them.

This is Our Year!

Yesterday was the Cubs Home Opener. It rained. A lot. But what do we care, it was nice and dry in The CubbyBear across the street from Wrigley Field. We have gone to the Opener for the past three years and never went to the actual game. It is always way too cold so we never even try to get tickets.

The air down at Wrigley is full of electricity!! Every Cubs fan seems to forget about the 100 years of heartbreak and is beaming with hope for the season. There isn't a better fan than a Cubs fan! Here are a few pictures of Matt, Kristin and me.