Wednesday Haiku for You

Matt sang like Elvis

We all got really plastered

Oh, what a great night

Oh What You Can Do With A Few Office Supplies

Emerson had a 1/2 day at school today, so she came to my office for the afternoon.

She was getting bored, so in an effort to entertain her, we dressed her up as a duck.

It may not have entertained her, but I got a laugh out of it!!

I Don't Get It...

Where do they find these remote, population-less location for Survivor?

I can't throw a stick without hitting a Starbucks!!

And you can't tell me that there isn't an occasional cruise ship that floats by and gawks at these people.

Conversations With A Co-Worker

Co-Worker: "We really should order that new postage machine, but I don't want to order it this month, let's do it next month."

Me: "But we need it, we should order it now."

Co-Worker: "I don't want to risk it."

Me: "But we don't even know what's going to happen next month with the economy!" "We could all be wearing loin clothes and trading twinkies as currency!"

Co-Worker : "Then we wouldn't need a postage machine."

Me: "Well played, my friend...well played."

Johnny Depp Monday

Maybe I Misjudged?

Last night Matt and I watched the movie "30 Days of Nights" and got to thinking.

The movie is about a group of people who live in a town at the very northern tip of Alaska where it is dark for 30 days. And because there is no sunlight for 24 hours a day, it becomes a feast fest for vampires.

I started thinking about Sarah Palin. In interviews she bases her foreign policy experience on "keeping an eye on the Russians" and I think she needs to be talking about these vampires!

Fighting Vampires like Buffy?!!?!?!?!?

I may have misjudged her experience level....but then again, probably not.

What a Ride!!

Hurricane Erin (my sister) blew in last week. And MAN, did we have fun!

But first, a little history.

Erin and I are the only two children of our divorced parents. We are 2 years, 11 months apart. (But I won't tell you who's older) Erin met a guy in college, and about 12 years ago, they moved to Florida. As I tell Emerson, it was the worst day of my life. Since then, we see each other about twice a year for about 4 days. Each time it's a whirlwind of activity until she leaves and then it takes me literally a week to recover from the exhaustion. Erin also has a son, Gage, who is the love of my life. He is exactly 6 months younger that Vivi and they are so cute together.

So Erin and her family came in on a Thursday and my father picked them up from the airport. My mother went to pick them up from there to take them to her house in downtown Chicago. Now, my mother just bought herself a new car. She got a Mitsubishi Spyder convertible. It's a GORGEOUS car, but it doesn't have much trunk space. Now being the diva that Erin is, she couldn't pack light, so I was the valet and took their luggage in my car.

I took Friday and Monday off of work to spend with them. On Friday we were going to meet at the race track but I got a call in the morning and this is how it went;

Erin "Hey, I need you to do me a big favor."

Me "What's that?"

Erin "I guess I must have dropped my glasses on the plane yesterday and the airline has them and I need you to go and pick them up."

Me "Are you serious?"

Erin " PLEAAAASSSSEEE!"

Me "Fine!!! But when I need a kidney, you better give me one!"

Erin "You ROCK!!! But you already staked claim on all my vital organs years ago. "

Me "Just make sure you take care of them until I need them."

Erin "Done!"

That's basically how it went the whole time. We did go to the track on Friday and drank beer. On Saturday we gave Matt a belated birthday party at a Karaoke bar and drank A LOT. We got a hotel room by the bar and on Sunday, Matt and I went to a Cubs game and then back to mom's for lasagna (and beer). On Monday we went to my dad's house and had a few beers and then went out to dinner. They were going to leave really early on Tuesday morning, so we said our goodbyes in the parking lot of the restaurant. Erin, Emerson, Vivi and I were sobbing!!! That is the absolute worst part about the visits, the goodbyes.

Erin is starting school in about a week, so we have no idea when they'll be back. I miss her so much all the time!!!! I know that this sounds really corny and sappy and a bit of a cliche, but she is my other half. When we're together, it's like we're one, and when we're apart, I feel a huge hole inside of me.

My only hope is that maybe she'll move back, but then we'd just get on each other's nerves all the time. And we probably wouldn't see each other very often because of work and everything.

So, maybe that's why we have such a good time together, because we know our time is limited and we have to make the most of it.

I don't know, but thanks for listening.

Wednesday Haiku For You

The water is gone

The river has receeded

What smells so fishy?

Johnny Depp Monday

New Blog

I started a new and completely different blog. All though, you can definitely tell it's mine by the picture on the title page. I don't know what obsession I have with pin-up girls, but I do.



I will continue to blog on this one and I will start blogging on that one.



If you are at all interested, here is the link. (It's also on my blog list on the side)



http://passthemashedpotatoes.blogspot.com/



IF it's not your cup of tea, than I hope you return to this blog,

Confession

I LOVE Head On!!!

I'm not sure it really works but I can't get over the cool tingly feeling on my forehead. I am constantly putting it on my head, whether I have a headache or not. I do have a small concern in the back of my mind that I might grow horns or suddenly develop a Klingon skull, but nothing yet.

Thank you, (curtsy)

It's Not Just Me!!!!!

According to a recent study by some people who have nothing better to do; Chicago is rated the #1 most stressed city in America with New York and Detroit following.

So I can blame it on the city then?

I wonder if this will help my lobbying for Xanax in the drinking water?

Wednesday Haiku to You

Yes, Jedi owns us

He is the king of the house

We're scared of this face

Johnny Depp Monday

I need Captain Jack and the Black Pearl to come and rescue me from all this water!!! We could sail off into the flooded sunset.

Come on Captain Jack, come and get me. I've got a large booty!!!!!

Girls...Get your Waterwings On!!!

So this is what we are going through this weekend.

This is right outside our door and down the block. The river is suppose to crest tonight. Matt doesn't think we need to evacuate, but I'm not so sure. I know our house won't sustain any damage, I'm just worried about getting to and from the house. It is not very comforting to see Red Cross and FEMA trucks in your neighborhood. Matt can be seen in the background of a Telemundo newscast. :)

Right now we're fine, but we are stuck for at least another day.

Something to Make Me Smile

My mother has the same best friend since she was in Kindergarten, which is quite impressive considering she's 60.

This woman is so close to us. She has been a mother to me and a grandmother to my girls. Her 2 son are as close to brothers that I will ever have. (Unless Erin gets that sex change operation)

So, yesterday, she called me at work and told me she left me a little something in between my back doors. She thought I was having a rough time lately, and she wanted to put a smile on my face.

This is what I found...

I had no idea how much I wanted a Chicken purse until I saw it!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! It really put a smile on my face.

The best part is, I used it today, and in the torrential rains nothing got wet! It's rubber!!!!!

She seems to find the best purses for me. I am in the process of taking pictures of them to get them up on the blog.

My friend Casi makes really great and unique purses too, you can find a link to her site on the side of the blog.

Something Funny Matt Wrote

You can read Matt's blog by going to this link. His latest one is funny (but really long)

http://www.myspace.com/bigmacattac

Enjoy

Johnny Depp Monday

So, When Can you Trade Them In and Become a Cougar?

HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY MATTYFLOWER!!!!!!!

I know the picture is a little odd, but it's right up you alley and I couldn't resist!!!

I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!

For those of you who are not Matt, I'm not the meanest wife in the world. He REALLY does love this stuff!

That's Right

I'm eating it while I watch 90210. Whatchu gonna do about it???

Sorry, the chocolatey goodness went to my head.

Gustav hit...Illinois???

When I woke up this morning this is what the weather map looked like.





I could barely find my state!!!



So, needless to say, it just poured ALL DAY!!!!!! I needed to wear something that would perk me up.



Polka-dot spectator pumps!! They never fail to put a smile on my face!





But the rain didn't stop me from taking my 1.59 mile walk at lunch today. After all, it's just rain, I won't melt.


I put a big sweater on, (it was also only about 62 degrees out.) got all my walking gear, took the umbrella and headed out. Even though everyone at work told me I was nuts. (Just made me want to do it more)


The best thing about walking in the rain, is that no one is around so I was able to sing as loud as I wanted along with my Zune (MP3 player).


Here's the problem, I have a special playlist that I listen to when I walk that are all upbeat songs, but I'm getting sick of them. I need suggestions for songs to put on the playlist. The peppier the better so it makes me walk faster.


So put your thinking caps on!!!!

Conversations with a Co-Worker

Me: "I know you Tivo-ed it last night"

Male Co-Worker: "Tivo-ed what?"

Me: "Don't lie!"

Male Co-Worker: "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Me: "OK, but just so you know, the are replaying it on Thursday in it's entirety."

Male Co-Worker: "Really??!!!" "Good, I missed the first half."

Wednesday's Haiku To You

Bobby, please don't go

You can't just move to Houston

You are a Cards Fan!

We are really going to miss you, you big Scottish Dolt!

I Woke Up Feeling Extra Sassy Today...

So I wore my skull shoes.

A Message from Matt

Matt and I were having a discussion today, and he wanted me to blog about one of my habits. Here's how the conversation went.

Me "What the big deal? I'm sure that everyone does that!"

Matt "No one does that but you and you should blog about it."

Me "If you think people should know, then by all means you blog about it."

Matt "Maybe I will. It will give folks some insight of what I deal with on a daily basis."

Me " I honestly don't know how your not canonized yet, Matt."

Now we have a bet, I will give control of my blog over to Matt for this particular post and promise that I will not edit and we will see what you the reader thinks, sane or insane?

So here is Matt, telling you "in his own words" about a habit that I have that is apparently strange....(and for some reason he insists on using my name)

Hello, my name is Matt and I've been specially trained to deal with Becky. (If you think that "street smarts" alone are enough to deal with her, you are sorely mistaken!) LOL!

Okay, so get a mental picture of this. I'm driving, Becky in the passenger seat, radio playing at a reasonable level, no one talking in the car. Then, out of no where, in a very LOUD voice... "OOOO.... SCOFFLAW!!!"

It makes me jump every time!

Now, "what" you may ask, is she yelling about? I don't know about other states, but in Illinois, on the top right hand side of the rear license plate, is a small 1-1/2 inch by 1 inch sticker that tells you the expiration date of your license plate.

Well, Becky has the odd ability to be able to spot these things from about a mile away. And when she sees one that has expired, even by one day, she yells out, "OOOO... SCOFFLAW!!!"

Now I ask you, who in their right mind does things like that?

I could spend all day on here talking about all of Becky "quirks", but she worries about what are "quirks" and what would just label her as simply "insane". So, she's making me stop here.

But I will say, even with all her quirks, I love her more than anything and wouldn't change a thing about her... Well, maybe the volume of her voice when she decides to yell out things at the spur of the moment. But then again, it does keep me on my toes! LOL!

Where do I begin?

I sort of left you guys with a burning question; What does she have against Brad and Angelina?

My friends and family have been telling me that I'm crazy for the last month, so now it's time to spread the craziness.

Let's get something straight first; I have nothing against saving the world one child at a time. They can adopt all the children in the world if they want. Hell, I have two here that they can have.

I have nothing against their acting careers. I think that Brad Pitt is a talented actor and she's ok. I did rewatch Girl Interupted a couple of weeks ago and I agree that she should have won the Oscar. But in the same breath, she ruined one of my favorite movies; Gone in 60 Seconds.

My problem is when they had those twins; Knox Leon and Vivienne Marcheline. Does anyone see why this would send me into a spiral of insane?

That's right, she stole my child's name. Same spelling and all!!! And if that's not bad enough, she had them on my birthday!

I ask you, Why does she want to be me?

Ok, I will stop waving my freak flag now.