Johnny Depp Monday

Living Vicariously Through Christmas Movies

Ahhh...Sunday! It was a very lazy day today. No one, but Matt, got out of their pjs today. I did manage to peel the pjs off the girls in order to get them in the bath just to put back on a fresh pair.

Matt was on call and the girls were watching TV in the bedroom, so I decided to take advantage of the day and truly appreciate my new TV. I love having cable, or rather, a satellite dish. We didn't have anything but network TV for about 7 years. Last night, I watched a great movie, "Charlie Wilson's War". I really enjoyed it. Being only about 8 when the Russian/Afghanistan War happened. I wasn't really into current affairs unless they dealt with Scott Baio, so I wasn't really informed on what went on.

Today, I watched the movie "This Christmas". I ended up only being able to catch parts of it twice. I get the gist of it but I am anxiously awaiting 9pm so I can watch the whole thing. So far, I could be new favorite Christmas movie, or at least one of them. I love the idea of a big family. But only at Christmas and only the idea. I don't want anymore children, but I guess I would have liked more brothers and sisters. I only have one sister and she lives in Florida (Have I mentioned that before?) She has a very hard time coming here for Christmas. Her in laws are demanding and she's a wimp. I try my hardest to guilt her into coming here, but it's no use. I know if I had at least one more sibling, we could gang up on her and brow beat her until she submits.

So, I have to live vicariously through the people in this movie. Just like I live vicariously through these other favorite Christmas movies.

White Christmas - I would LOVE to spend Christmas at a lodge in Vermont, snow or no snow

The Preacher's Wife - I love that they have so many community activities. They have church, they ice skate, they make baskets for the poor. I suppose I don't have to live vicariously, I could and will do all of these things. And there's the whole title, but I'll tell you about that on Saturday Flashback. Not to mention GORGEOUS Denzel as a Guardian Angel!!

You've got Mail - Not technically a Christmas movie, but there are wonderful scenes of New York and I love her little shop.

I'm sure there are a lot more, but I can't think of them now.

What are your favorite Christmas movies and why?

Something Old and Something New!

For Flashback Saturday we have an amusing little story about Vivi in a public washroom. It happened back in early May when we were still struggling with potty training. If you have kind of a weak stomach, maybe you oughta skip this one.

For the something new section of this post, I just wanted to tell you all that Matt is so SWEET! He worked all day yesterday and the girls and I went to a birthday party last night. When we got home he was out by his work truck rearranging things. He told me that he had another job but it was really close to the house and it wouldn't take that long. It was already 8:30pm and I was mad that he was still working. Well about a 45 minutes later, he walked in the door with a brand new 42" flat screen TV. His plan was to buy it at Best Buy today all along! Now I have TV!!! It's awesome!

Now on to our regularly scheduled program.

Vivi Creates Her Own After School Special (or) "Are You There God, It's Me Vivi?"

Vivi is now 95% potty trained. She goes by herself when we are at home and she tells us when we are out.

This is very exciting, but it also comes with its very own issues.

For instance, Vivi always seems to have to go to the bathroom just as I take the first bite of food at a restaurant. Or, just as we pass the rest stop while we’re driving.

But the biggest issue came the other week. We were at the mall and Vivi said she needed to go. We went into the bathroom and it was crowded. After waiting a couple of seconds we were able to go into a stall and Emerson went into the stall next to us. After Vivi was done, I decided that I would take advantage of the facilities.

Now I don’t want to be gross, so I will try to put this as gentle as possible; I was experiencing my period. And it being my first day, I was wearing a pad. (You women know what I’m talking about)

As I said before, the bathroom was crowded and the acoustics in there made all of the other conversations almost deafening.I pull down my pants and proceed to go to the bathroom and this is how it went;

Vivi: “Mommy, you going potty?”

Mommy: “Yep.”

Vivi: “Mommy, why you wearing a diaper?”

All other conversations stop and the only one talking now was Vivi. And she was loud!

Mommy: “Shhhhh”

Vivi: “But why you wearing a diaper?”

Mommy: “Vivi, shush”

Vivi: “Mommy, you bleeding!”

I hear some giggles.

Vivi: “YOU BLEEDING, YOU BLEEDING!”

Mommy: (quietly) “Come on Vivi, knock it off.”

Vivi: “You changing your diaper?”

Now I hear loud laughing!

Mercifully, I was done, and we went to wash our hands. I kept my head down and we got out of there ASAP. While walking back to Matt, Emerson was in front of me and her shoulders were shaking. When we got to him he looked at us strangely.

Matt: “What’s going on?”

Emerson (face red, tears in her eyes): “BAH-HA-HA-HA!”

Matt: “Why is your face all red and your sweating?”

Me: “Never mind, but you’re taking Vivi to the bathroom for the next 3 to 5 days.”

Emerson is still in hysterics and she can barely walk.

Matt: “I’m confused”

"Fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night."

I just took this fun quiz, and this what it told me about myself;

Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz...

You Are a Bette!

You are a Bette -- "I must be strong"

Bettes are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Stand up for yourself... and me.


• * Be confident, strong, and direct.


• * Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.


• * Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.


• * Give me space to be alone.


• * Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.


• * I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.


• * When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

What I Like About Being a Bette

• * being independent and self-reliant


• * being able to take charge and meet challenges head on


• * being courageous, straightforward, and honest


• * getting all the enjoyment I can out of life


• * supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me


• * upholding just causes

What's Hard About Being a Bette

• * overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to


• * being restless and impatient with others' incompetence


• * sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it


• * never forgetting injuries or injustices


• * putting too much pressure on myself


• * getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

Bettes as Children Often

• * are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit


• * are sometimes loners


• * seize control so they won't be controlled


• * figure out others' weaknesses


• * attack verbally or physically when provoked


• * take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Bettes as Parents

• * are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted


• * are sometimes overprotective


• * can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn? Or Someone Else? Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

Ok, I can live with that.

This Post Has Been Brought To You By The Letter K

My friend Heather played this game that she got from Sunshine and Lemonade. She gives you a letter and you post 10 of your favorite things beginning with that letter. I received the letter K. So here are my 10 favorite things that start with the letter K. (This was kind of tough)

1) Kinzcash! I love racking up the cash on Webkinz and then spending it on a decorating rooms! I can't afford to decorate my house as often, so it's the next best thing.

2) Kissing - Who doesn't love kissing? (Unless it's your great aunt and your 12) But I love kissing. Especially if it slow, drawn out and full of passion. (but not with an aunt)

3) Knoxville - As in Johnny Knoxville. I love him for some reason. I don't want to be crude but he's my f*ck and run guy. Someone who would be good for a night or two but you definitely don't want to bring him home to meet mom.

4) Karma - Do good things and really good things will be done to you. Do bad things and REALLY bad things will happen to you. Definitely how I try to live.

5) Kool-Aid - I keep little packages in my desk to put in my water bottles. For some reason, I can't drink just straight water even though I know it's good for me.

6) Kindness - This one is self explanatory. I mean who likes nastiness?

7) Kids - As a mother, I guess I have to put my kids up here. (Although they have been driving me nuts ALL DAY!)

8) KettleCorn - What is better than going to a fair and getting a big bag of fresh, hot Kettlecorn?

9) Kismet - I love the idea of fate. Your soul mate, your other half.

10) Karaoke - I don't like to sing, but Matt always dedicates "Devil in Disguise" to me.

If you want to play, you can leave me a comment and I'll give you a letter, or you can leave Heather a comment and she can give you a letter too.

I Have Been Inspired...Or Rather Encouraged!!!

My Friend ChicagoLady gave me this wonderful award!!!

I love her blog! She lives here in Chicago (obviously) and it's nice to know that I'm not the only nut here! LOL! Plus, she's a HUGE Cubs Fan, which makes her "My Brotha from anotha Motha"...or sister...or whatever.

As with all the awards I received, this one brought a tear to my eye. I'm not going to bore you with the "Blog Snob" story again, but all of your kindness really means so much to me!!

I love blogging. I love being able to tell my stories to the whole world via the Internet in hopes that they entertain you and I receive a few comments in return. In the immortal words of Ursula the Sea Witch from "The Little Mermaid"; "It's what I do, It's what I live for!"

Never mind that it's an elaborate hoax in the style of the Batman TV show villains. I write amusing stories, you come and read them unaware that I am controlling a little piece of your mind each time and then soon I will CONTROL THE WORLD....(manic laughing) But I digress.

So now, I get to give this award to the people who have encouraged me. This is going to be tough, because you all encourage me more than you know. So lets go down the list. (I am not limited to only a few bloggers. If you don't give me rules, I can't break them!)

BlueRidgeGal - She encourages me to be creative in my photo taking and story telling. She had a post up where she showed us a conversation between her husband and herself using Barbie dolls. It was HYSTERICAL!!

CasualSlack - One of the first blogs I ever read. Absolutely hysterical!!! What she can find on the web for her "Random Find" is amazing. She also gives me kudos when I write a funny comment.

Jeanne's Happy World - She is really happy!!! She must post 10 times a day. I love the pictures of her daughter Bella, and the way she dresses up her cat!

IntenseGuy - He encourages me with his love of long walks, dogs, and construction barriers. I love that he goes out and takes pictures of ordinary things and writes a whole story about them. I have also learned quite a few things about history from him.

My Side of the Story - What can I say about this guy? He encourages me every day! (Even if he is stubborn about getting that TV)

ChicagoLady - I already wrote about her living in the same city and being a Cubs fan. She is also very passionate about politics and family.

Heather and Heather's Sister - I love living vicariously through these two Twilight sister on their adventures! But I have to admit it makes me ache for my own sister who lives in Florida. These two have the exact same relationship as my sister and I.

Dry as Toast - Ahhhh..New York!! I have been in love with that city since I first watch "An Affair to Remember". I love the way she tells her story about living in the city.

LadyStyx - The way this woman gets on her stationary bike and petals her little heart out everyday is so completely encouraging that I almost feel bad about putting that second Krispy Kreme donut in my mouth. But then I wait a couple of minutes and it passes.

Knit By God's Hand - She is very passionate about her love of God. She also encourages me to go ahead and try to knit. (Something I've wanted to do for a long time) And we have the same name!

ToriZ - I don't know if I can put into words all the ways that Tori is encouraging! She has a definite way of seeing the world without actually being able to see. The sense of humor that she has going through what she has gone through is truly amazing!

Life Just Keep Getting Weirder - Amazingly talented!!! You will literally laugh out loud reading her blog. She is also encouraging by the way she wears her mustache without a care in the world.

Laughing with Spoons - She is probably one of the sweetest people on the web! Her Thankful Tuesdays encourage me to be thankful for what I have.

Bookbitten - She was one of the first to comment on my blog and we became fast friends. She is having a really hard time recently and I send her cyber-hugs. She encourages me to read. I have never met anyone who reads more than she does! Plus she has amazing taste in books.

PoetiKat - The first time I ever read her blog, she was talking about the scary movie "Burnt Offerings" and I believed I was the only one who ever saw it! She has a knack of bring up things from the past that bring back so many wonderful memories.

Livin and Lovin - This lady has so much love in her life (and not just because that's what her daughter's name is)

Iheart2girls - She hearts 2 girls? I heart her blog! She tells the best story about finding other mom's to have play-dates. I totally reminded me of when I was courting the "dance moms" and tried to get them to be my friends.

Jess - I said it before, and I'll say it again...she is immensely talented!!! A 15 year old from across the pond with a very old soul. She will be a prize winning author, mark my words!

I am also encouraged by a whole slew of friends and family who read my blog each day. I have a whole fan club of people who don't leave comments but comment in person. So they should get the award too. Go ahead and print it out and put it on a button and wear it on your lapel or something.

So there you have it. All of you encourage me in your own way. You make blogging so much more fun!

Now, I'm trying to build up the encouragement to clean my house.

Picking My Battles

Now with the turkey haze in full swing, as well as the Manhattans, I can look back to a wonderful Thanksgiving.

We always have Thanksgiving dinner at our extended family's house. It was really great! The food was superb, and the clean-up was painless. As far as I'm concerned, it was the perfect Thanksgiving, except for one small glitch.

A couple of weeks ago we were in the car and we were talking about Thanksgiving. Vivi, still in Halloween mode, asked this question;

Vivi: "What costume do I wear for Tanksgiving?"

Me: "You don't wear a costume, you wear a pretty dress."

She was quiet for a couple of minutes, like she was pondering something.

Vivi: " I'm gonna wear my Alice in Wonderland dress, it's my prettiest." (Vivi was Alice at her birthday party as well as Halloween)

Matt and I kind of looked over at each other.

Matt: (quietly) "She'll be over it in a couple of weeks."

Over the next few weeks, she told everyone she was wearing that dress. I took her to a bunch of different stores so she could pick out a new dress. No such luck.

This morning she woke up and got the dress out of the closet. It took a lot of convincing on my part to make her wait until it was time to start getting ready to put it on.

So here we were showing up at the door for dinner, me dressed up, Emerson dressed up, Matt in his work uniform (he's on call today), and Vivi rocking the Alice dress with a HUGE grin on her face.

After dinner my mother (cause she's evil) asked what dress she was going to wear for Christmas? Guess what Vivi said?

I'm going to have to buy her one of those Disney Princess dresses, just so we have some variety!

The TV Wars

Last Thursday, our TV blew up. The screen went blue and then a "pop" sound, and then nothing.

We had gotten this TV from my mother last year. She got herself a 47" flat screen and gave us the old 36". It is not a flat screen and it is just HUGE!!! It must weigh 200 lbs!! We had a hell 0f a time getting it home and set up.

After it stopped working, I called mom to find out how old the TV was. This is how it went.

Me: "Hi Mom, do you know how old the TV was that you gave us last year?"

Mom: "Not old at all, only about 15 years, why?"

Me: "It's dead."

Mom: "What do you mean it's dead?" "It's practically brand new!" "Just take it to get it repaired."

Me: "First of all, it's not new, 15 years is quite a long life for a TV built after 1975." "Second, are there even TV repair men anymore?" And third, why would I get this one repaired when they are practically giving TVs away in this economy."

Mom: "Ooooohhhh, are you going to get a new TV then?"

Me: "I don't see where we have a choice." Meanwhile I am secretly dancing the happy dance because I am going to get a new TV!!!

So Matt and I have been looking at TVs. Last Sunday we went to Walmart for some stuff and we went over to the TVs. They had a very nice 32" flat screen LCD HDTV for $499. I thought it was great. We had a 36" one before, so this one wouldn't be too much smaller and the price was right.

But noooooo. When I showed it to Matt he shook his head, said "Too small" and went over to look at the 40". I looked at the 40" and thought they might be a little too big (read expensive) but all Matt said was "If I'm going to buy a new TV, I'm going to BUY a new TV." Jackass! So we left Walmart with no TV.

On Tuesday we went to Target to get a birthday gift. Once again, we meandered over to the TVs. Here I found a 40" flat screen LCD HDTV for right around the $1000 mark. I bring Matt over to show him. He makes a face and takes me over to see the 47". I draw the line!!! I am not spending $1500.00 on a TV. As much as I am jonesing for the Keep Up with the Kardashians reruns. Unless we become a Nielsen family and get paid to watch TV, this is over the top.

Matt's excuse? It would be so great after Christmas!!! (We happen to know what one of our Christmas presents is, I can't tell you, but it rhymes with Smintendo Smee.) We left Target, no TV.

Last night (11pm) we were at Meijer gathering a few last minute groceries. Not that I'm cooking, but we had a craving for those corned beef, cream cheese, pickle roll-up things.

Once again, we find ourselves in the electronics area. Here they have a beautiful, 40" flat screen LCD HDTV on sale for $899.00. It's PERFECT!!!!!! I even compromised ( as most of you know that's not something I do too often) He can get a BlueRay disc player (also on sale for $219.00)

Everyone happy, right? Nope. I still don't have a TV.

Me: "Let's just get this one."

Matt: "Let wait until Friday."

Me: " BUT I HAVEN'T HAD A TV FOR A WEEK!!!"

Matt: "Becky, get up off the floor and stop kicking and screaming!" "Your embarrassing me!!!"

Matt: "There could be a really good deal on Friday!"

Me: "Fine, but you have to go wait in line, I'm not stepping one foot towards a store."

Matt: "Fine."

So we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted.

I Am Such a Grown-UP!!

Twilight opened in theaters last Friday. I really wanted to see it at midnight Thursday, but I work at 6am on Fridays so I am able to pick Em up from school at 3. I really wanted to see it Friday night, but Matt was on call that night and both kids were home with me. Saturday? Can't, kids are home and Matt is not. Sunday? Nope. So I went ahead and took today off as a vacation day. My friend Denise and I met for lunch and hit the 1:45 show. And because she didn't get any late slips last week and she's off of school this week, Emerson got to go too. How is that for delayed gratification??? Aren't you proud of what an adult I am?

I truly enjoyed the movie. I treated it like the Harry Potter books and movies. You have to judge them separately. Let them stand on their own. I have never seen a movie that was ever as good as the book it was based. Sometime my overactive imagination is a blessing and a curse. It's not fair to judge something based on what I thought it should have looked like, I'm not the author!

I was not disappointed as some of the other reader have been. I really liked it and if I can have an evening with Matt alone, I'll probably see it again. He probably feels like he read it too because of how much I talked about the books.

He hasn't been real keen on role playing Edward and Bella with me, he's been tired, but I'm wearing him down.

Wednesday's Haiku To You

Happy Thanksgiving!

A day to give thanks for all...



relatives as well.

He Did It!!!!!

Matt started his own blog! It's called My side of the Story. Go on over and give him some bloggy love. But just remember, don't believe anything he says!! I am the perfect wife! (If I do say so myself)

It Must Be Award Season!!!!

Even though I am going to have to wait until March to get my Oscar and my Pulitzer hasn't come in the mail yet. I am still getting awards!!!!!! My friend Jeannie over at Jeannie's Happy World has bestowed this little gem on me.

Too Cute!!!!! Tori - It's a bear with a purple bow in her hair and she's holding up a big heart. I says I Big Red Puffy Heart your blog.

I feel bad because as a presentor, I should be all dressed up. But Bob Mackey is still putting the finishing touches on the gown and Rachel Zoe still hasn't found the perfect jewels to make her "D-I-E...Die!" So I present this award a little less fabulously in my khakis and pink cashmire sweater. Here are the bloggers who are receiving.

I Heart 2 Girls

Laughing with Spoons

"This is the day..." Ps118:27

Tales from the Lunchroom Today is Heather's Sister's Birthday!!! Go over and give her some love!!!

TorizWorld

IT'S ON!!!

Someone hold my purse, and my phone, and my heels, and my earrings. Hand me that hairband, I need to pull back my hair. Anyone got some Vaseline? I need to rub it on my face so she can't scratch me. 'Cause there's gonna be a FIGHT TONIGHT!!!!

Matt and I went to Parent/Teacher Conferences tonight. And let me start out by saying that I am not one of those moms who says "Oh No, it can't be MY little darling!!!" Trust me, I am well aware that it can always be my kid. ( and usually is)

We went to this conference knowing that Emerson has been having trouble with homework this trimester. The teacher and I have been emailing back and forth and I think that we finally got it under control. Em was incredibly proud that she had no late slips last week and got rewarded for it at home. She gets it. Homework = reward, No Homework = no reward or TV or computer or freedom of any kind. Even a monkey understands that!

We have never really had too much of a problem with Emerson at school, she enjoys it. She has always done her homework in the past and has gotten good grades.

This year is apparently different, and I believe she needed this first trimester to gather her sea legs, so to speak. And I'm all for not dwelling on the past. We found the problem, we corrected it, LET'S MOVE ON!

But OH NO!! We have to discuss in detail everything that Emerson is doing wrong. And the worst thing about it is that she insisted that Emerson be there for this bash fest! She even told Emerson that she had a lot of good things to tell us, LIE!!!! Emerson actually teared up!

She brought out about 10 sheets of work to show us how Emerson spells. Why 10? We got it on the first example. Then she is asking Em what the words were, how is that productive? She suggested a reader, which is a book like a dictionary but without the definitions. Fine, I pick one up tomorrow for her and we will work with her more on her spelling. (Why, when the whole world has spell check? I have no idea) But mine is not to reason why but to do or die.

Then she talked about her reading goal for October. She was suppose to read 3 chapter books, done. She was suppose to take the Accelerated Reading test on all of them, done. She was suppose to be reading at a 3.0 grade, done. (actually a 3.2) She was suppose to get a 85% on the tests, oops, she got a 83.3% Result: DID NOT REACH HER GOAL!!!!! WTF??? Here's how that little conversation went:

Me: "So she didn't reach her goal because of the 83.3%?"

Teacher: "That's right, she needed an 85%"

Me: "Just so I understand, she missed the goal because of 1.7%?"

Teacher: "Well, it's 2%."

Me: (under my breath because Matt was pinching me under the table) "In what universe does 85 minus 83.3 equal 2?

Here's the KICKER!!!! We got Em's report card from her, all A's and B's with 1 C for spelling!!! I wonder what she said to the kids who were failing???? Did she shove bamboo shoots under their fingernails?

I know what you're going to say; "She must not think that Em's working to her full potential." "Cut the teacher some slack" "You're not being fair." Yadda Yadda Yadda.

I don't wanna!!!! I'm wearing the "mom's hat" and I don't have to play fair!!!!

Here's the conversation when Matt and I were leaving.

Matt: "You looked pretty pissed in there."

Me: " But did I look scary?"

Matt: "You looked pretty scary."

Me: "Good!! That's what I was going for."

Matt: "I guess you won't be first choice to chaperone the next field trip."

Me: "Nope, probably not."

Sorry about the ranting but this just buttered my biscuits!! I'm over it now.

Thank you *curtsy*

Johnny Depp Monday

The Sunday Funny

Conversation overheard between Emerson and Vivienne while they were playing with Playskool Little People.

Vivienne: "I'm gonna play with this man!"

Emerson: "No Viv, that's a lady."

Vivienne: "No's not, it's a man!"

Emerson: "Lady!"

Vivienne: "Man!"

Emerson: "LADY!!!"

Vivienne: "MAAANNNN!!!!!!"

Emerson: "Man!"

Vivienne: "IT'S A LADY!!!"

Me: "Vivi, I think Emerson just Duck Season - Rabbit Seasoned you!"

Who says cartoons don't teach you anything!

Happy Birthday!!!!

Today is my Webkin, Mr. Smee's Birthday!!!

I know you will all join me in wishing him a happy birthday!!!

Don't tell him but I got him that bunny clown he's been wanting. Shhhhhh....

Flashback Saturday

I have decided that I am going post things that I have previously posted. Things that I posted before you guys started reading my blog. I know how much time and energy it takes to go back and read all prior post on a blog that you just found. So Saturdays are going to be dedicated as Flashback Saturday!



Here is the first post in this new series. Originally written this past April. Enjoy and if you already read it...Enjoy again!

OY! What A Week

Sunday

It started out when I made myself a piece of toast. I took one bite of it and all I could taste was mold. I voiced my complaint to Matt and he took a bite and said it was fine and ate the rest of it. He told me to make myself another piece but I refused, citing that if this one was moldy, the others are too. He promptly went into the kitchen and inspected the remaining pieces of bread. With quite a smirk on his face, he showed me that there was not a speck of mold on any of the bread. Convinced I was right, I insisted on sniffing every inch of each of the slices until I was able to pin-point the exact location of the invisible mold. So, Matt threw the bread away and ran out the door before I was able to tell him that I no longer had a taste for toast. When he came back with new bread, he was none too pleased with me.

Monday

I was informed by my daughter that we were out of my special cookies. Each evening I have 5 chewy chips ahoy cookies heated up in the microwave and a glass of milk. It’s my thing and I have done it for years. Recently, it has come to my attention that everyone in the house now enjoys my cookies, even though I buy them their own cookies. So I went to bed without dessert.

Tuesday

Still no cookies!! When I complained, Matt told me that there were the store brand cookies that I can have but he was definitely not going to the store for me. I don’t like the store brand cookies, I ONLY LIKE CHEWY CHIPS AHOY!!!! He did not budge from his position. Apparently, the cookie battle is one that he chooses to fight.Finally, I was jonesing so bad for the chewy goodness, I announced that the store brand cookies will be fine, but I only want 3 but cooked the same amount of time in the microwave. (It was very reminiscent of “When Harry met Sally”) I made that announcement and didn’t move from the couch. After a few minutes, Matt breathed a very heavy sigh and got up and went into the kitchen. This is how the conversation went;

Matt “You are some piece of work!”

Me “What did I do?”

Matt “You announce that you want the store brand cookies, yet you make no effort to actually go and get them.”

Me “Why are you being such an ass??!!”

Matt “Me??!?!!?” “I’m making you your damn cookies!!!”

Me “You know, there are 100 guys who would love to make me my cookies!!!!”

Matt (startled) “What was that pounding???”

Me (now startled) “What pounding? I didn’t hear anything.”

Matt “It must be those 100 guys pounding on the door to make you your cookies”

Me “Smart Ass!!”

Wednesday

The cookie standoff continues. He won’t buy the cookies and now I’m on Webkinz strike. I will only play games on Emerson’s Webkinz

Thursday

This was the worst day yet!!! As I mentioned before I am an avid reader and I like to get my books at Half Priced Book Store. It turns out you can also sell your books there too. While I was in my closet that morning I noticed that I had a ton of hardcover books on the shelves in there. I took them all down and dusted them off. They were in good condition, so I decided to box them up and bring them to the store. After all, I needed to get the 4th book in the series that I am currently reading. So I boxed up 15 books and lugged them to the car.

At my lunch break, I drove over there and l lugged the box in the store. They informed me that it was going to be 30 minutes but I had to stay in the store because it could be earlier. I agreed and ran over to shelves to get my new book. They didn’t have it. They had all the other ones from the series except #4. Unbelievable!!! I grabbed 5 and 6 but I can’t even read the backs in case it gives something away. Finally I was called to the counter for my offer. I walked up there and they said that for my 15 hardcover books they would offer me…$2.50!!!!!! Not a piece, but for all of them!! So, by the end of the experience; I had $2.50, a 10% off coupon and I still spent $5.

The good news is that the Webkinz strike worked. I got my cookies last night and I went on his Webkinz and won him a trophy.

There are just some days that I truly believe that I am on some kind of reality show and I’m not aware of it. Just like “The Truman Show”

You guys would tell me, right?

Contest Alert!

Kat over at Sunshine and Lemonade is having another awesome contest! You can win a A favicon and Mommy cards from Darcy over at Graphically Designing. And a $25 Office Max gift card.

Go check it out!

Open Letter to My Boss*

Dear Boss,

I just want to start this letter out by telling you how much I enjoy working here. If I didn't come here every single day f0r 10 hours a day, I would be so completely bored enjoying my family.

That said, I feel that we need to clear up a few things in order for us to work more...um...harmoniously. (Translation; I don't want to have to kill you with a staple remover!)

1) You know I start work every day at 8am, it never changes. So please don't start calling me at 7am and continue to call every 5 minutes to find out what time I will be there. If you continue to do this I will invest in an air horn and blow your eardrum out.

2) I don't know why the coffee maker is making noises at you. It's probably the same reason why the microwave laughs at you.

3) If the copier is out of paper, put paper in it. Do not stand in the middle of the room and bellow that it's out of paper. It is not booby trapped, nor does it only respond to my voice. You just do it.

4) If the copier is out of toner, DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! I don't think we want to relive the incident where you got frustrated and tried to beat the copier with it's own toner. By the way, you still owe me for that dry cleaning bill...just sayin'.

5) As much as I appreciate you "keeping me in the loop", I do not need to be copied on the dirty emails between you and your wife. You can go ahead and keep a lid on that little secret.

6) If you take the last pen out of the office supply cabinet, please let me know so I can order more. I know it surprises you that I am not psychically connected to all the supplies in the cabinet. I don't know we're out until I go looking for something.

7) As much as you think I am able to multi-task, I cannot listen to the customer on the phone and your conversation at the same time. So if you see me sort of talking into a strange black handle that I hold up to my face. Please wait until I place it back on the black box with all the numbers before you regale me with your weekend stories.

8) I understand that emergencies come up, but PLEASE don't wait until I have my computer turned off, my coat on, my car started, backing out of the parking space to tell me that you have a report due first thing in the morning that you forgot about. And then when I do stay late to help you, please don't come out of your office when you leave for the day and ask innocently "You still here?" It demeans us both.

9) I am so glad you had a wonderful time on your vacation to the Riviera, but please, if you go again, you do not need to send me pictures on my phone of you and your wife on the nude beach. Remember, that meeting with HR where we discussed boundaries?

10) Finally, do you remember when I fished you tie out of the shredder, in turn saving your life? Or the time I drove 60 miles in a blizzard to drop off your favorite travel mug because you forgot it before your business trip? And I have never once mixed up your wife and your girlfriend on the phone saving you a ton of money in divorce proceedings. All those things constitutes a little more than 3 $1.00 McDonald's Gift Certificates for Christmas!

I hope we now understand each other a little better. Thank you.

Respectfully,

Your Loyal Assistant*


*Completely fictitious. Like I would work for this guy!! ( Had to put this in just in case my real boss's wife read this and kills an innocent man!)

You Really Shouldn't Have!!!

As if Heather's Sister over at Tales from the Lunchroom hasn't given me enough (ie Twilight Obsession) she also gave me this award!!!!!

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.”

The award translates as, "This blog invests and believes, the proximity" [meaning, that blogging makes us 'close' -being close through proximity] Thank GOD I'm fluent in Portugese like Edward! LOL (OK... so I Googled it)

So now I get to give them to eight other bloggers, here they are;

Ladystyx Place

Dry As Toast

ChicagoLady

Knit By God's Hand

BlueRidgeGal

BookBitten

Smiles in Easy Open Packages

TheWrightFamily

There you have it. Go Forth and Award!!

Bowling Conversation

"Ladies and gentlemen: the story you are about to hear is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent."

For some reason tonight, my friends Denise, Kristin and I were discussing transvestites and transsexuals. I don't know why, we just were.

We were in the middle of the discussion when a lady from the other team, who was listening, told us that she divorced her husband after 23 years because she found out he was a cross-dresser and he was wearing her clothes.

This got me thinking. Is cross-dressing really a deal breaker? Are you going to throw away 23 years cause he likes to wear your bras? What if he's a great husband otherwise, or a great father? I admit, cross-dressing is a little strange, but I don't view it any worse than farting loudly or not replacing the toilet paper.

So I thought about it more and I came up with a list things that if Matt was a cross-dresser he could not do in order to stay married to me.

1) He cannot wear my clothes and not get them dry cleaned afterwards. That's just rude! Like when some one borrows your car and doesn't put gas in it!

2) He should not stretch out my sweaters. If he wants to wear cashmere, he should buy it himself. And that goes double for pantyhose and tights.

3) My clothing budget automatically doubles! He better not be buying designer clothes for himself and letting me wear Walmart brand!

4) The rule on panties, we don't share. You wear them, they automatically become yours. (See Monkeybutt post) That's one secret Victoria will take to the grave!

5) He CANNOT wear a smaller size than me!!! I don't care if it's in shoes!!!

6) He cannot tell me that something that I own looks better on him!

7) He must dress his age. I will not be seen with a 40 year old man dressed as Britney Spears.

8) He must be adhere to the fashion rules. I will not be embarrassed by a man who wears white after Labor day!

9) He must ask to wear an item of my clothing. There is nothing worse than going into your closet looking for your favorite pencil skirt only to find out that your husband wore it today!

10) NO MID DRIFT TOPS!! 'nuff said.

And that's it. If he can abide by those rules, we can share our lives together as well as our closets.

Wednesday's Haiku for You

In just three more days

The Twilight frenzy begins

I need some Edward!

I promise I will stop talking about Twilight 6-7 years TOPS!!!

The Many Faces of Matt

So, last night Matt took the first step. He knew he had to start somewhere, so he shaved off his beard for me!!

I can't even express how thrilled I was!! I HATE his beard and you will probably be able to see why.

Every time Matt shaves his beard, he likes to come out of the bathroom during different stages to make me laugh, this time I took pictures.

Picture 1 - The "before picture"

My Mountain Man! UGH!!!!!


Picture 2 - 1885

EAT YOUR HEART OUT President Charles A. Adams!!!

Picture 3 - American Chopper

"I'm gonna build you a KILLER BIKE!!"

Picture 4 - CHIPS

"Hey Ladies!" "You're under arrest... for stealing my heart!!"

Picture 5 - Errol Flynn

"It's not gay...It's debonair!!

Picture 6 - The "after picture"

There's the Mattyflower I married!!! As soon as the razor burn heals, he'll look 10 years younger.

Now at least people won't think he's my father or a dirty old man!

Johnny Depp Monday

I was going through pictures for Johnny Depp Monday and my heart just wasn't in it. I feel like I'm sinking.

Then I came across this little gem!






I'm not sure if I feel better or worse! But with my overactive imagination, the fantasy possibilities are unlimited!

Very Bad!

Matt woke up from his nap and we were talking about running to Borders so I could get the 4th book.

His blackberry went off.

He looked at it and said "Oh, Crap! I forgot that I volunteered to work tonight!"

Then he left to be the HVAC hero to someone else.

I Made Something For YOU!!!

So, I don't know if I've...um.. ever mentioned it, but I LOVE getting awards!! But I also love giving awards. So, since I haven't received anymore to give out, I decided to create a couple myself. I created these two awards with each and every one of you in mind. Because I hate deciding who gets the award and who doesn't... IT'S AN ALL SKATE!!!!!! They are for everyone who's blog I read and for everyone who reads my blog. And because they are usually one in the same, you guys get both awards! There are no rules for these, you can give them to anyone you want. But, PLEASE put them on you blog, don't make me cry.

They're not buttons or anything (I haven't quite got the button thing figured out) so just copy the pictures from my blog.

Update on the Romance thing. Matt came home last night and went on the computer, I told him not to read the blog because I thought it would hurt his feelings. He respected my wishes for a while and then curiosity got the better of him and he read it. His feelings weren't hurt and he corrected me on the fact that I think he's trying to humor me. And that was the end of it.

He then played Xbox while I read (and finished) the third Twilight book. NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED!!!!!! It's not like I'm dropping subtle hints, I am coming out and telling him (and you) but it doesn't seem to matter. As I write this, he is sound asleep on the couch.

I shouldn't have thought about it, now I'm blue.

Enjoy your awards guys! Every single one of you deserves them!

Idiotic Rambling From My Brain

I was reading my friend Heather's blog (You know Heather, of Heathersister fame) and she had a button for a quiz on Twilight. Now I don't think I would have ever read these books if it wasn't for these two sisters. They are so much like my sister and me, and they are COMPLETELY obsessed with anything Twilight, so I decided to give it a try.

Now I'm completely obsessed!!!! (But it never really takes much) I have read the first two and I am currently reading the 3rd. When I bought the 3rd book, I noticed that they had t-shirts at the bookstore. I got myself one, and squeezed my adult size body(read DD's) into a shirt made for a teenager. Let's just say that Edward and Bella's heads might be a little wider than they should be, but my friend, who always tells me the truth, said it looked good. (Thank GOD I've lost 23lbs. so far)

So, you can go ahead and thank them, but I'm not quite sure Matt will.

Since I was 1/2 way through the first book, I have been dogging him about being romantic. I miss the early days when you just couldn't wait to see each other. When every thought you had was about the other person. I miss the romance!

Here are some of the conversations that Matt and I have had over text or in person about this topic;

Me (over text): DAMN! Why can't you be a vampire??!!

Matt: All the times you tell me I suck, I thought I was! LOL!!

Me: But not in a good way!

_____________________________________________________________________

Me (on the couch reading) : "You know, vampires don't have beards! " (I HATE Matt's beard)

Matt (on the computer) : "They don't? Why not?"

Me: "Because they're dead, they don't grow hair!"

Matt: "What if they had a beard when they were changed?"

Me: "They shaved it off as soon as they were vampires, because vampires are cool and beards aren't!"

____________________________________________________________________

So because I've been badgering him, he has acknowledged my need for romance. But there are three small problems.

1) He is working A LOT and doesn't know where to start.

2) We have two daughters who can suck the romance out of even Romeo and Juliet.

3) I truly think he is only humoring me because I am badgering him. (But that might actually be my own emotionally stunted views on relationships)

But the biggest problem is me. I always have the worst timing on my neediness. What is this poor man suppose to do? He works 12-16 hrs a day on a very physical job and he is exhausted when he gets home. He's also exhausted because of me, I require a lot of attention, I always have. I have exhausted my family and friends with my constant need for attention.

I love Matt very much, and I need to cut him some slack because I know that he's trying his best to appease his tyrant of a wife. (please don't hate Matt or feel bad for me, I do it to myself)

P.S. I honestly didn't think this post was going to turn out like this, I just started writing and this is what came out. I was originally going to post about the Twilight quiz I took and what character I turned out to be. (I put the results on my side bar) Now I have to think of a new title for this post!

Little Bird - Annie Lennox

My friend Rebecca Jo ( I just love her name!! Maybe cause it's mine too!) over at Knit by God's Hand posted this fun little game using your MP3, so I thought I'd give it a try.


1. Put your music on shuffle

2. For each question - press the next button to get your answer

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!

4. You're supposed to tag people....but I'm not - I'm a rule breaker....

And AWAY WE GO......!!!!!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Only The Good Die Young - Billy Joel - Pretty cryptic...sounds like me.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
Hard To Say Goodbye - DreamGirls Soundtrack - That's about right!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY?
Bennie and The Jets - Elton John - Must be the Electric Boots and Mohair Suit

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Superstition - Stevie Wonder - Well, I have been reading alot of Twilight today...

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Flash Light - Parliment - ALWAYS FUNK!!

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
I Left My Heart in San Francisco - Rat Pat - I've been there once, but I don't recall leaving pieces...

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Scotty Doesn't Know - Lustra - BWHAHHHAHHHHAAAA

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Crank Dat Soulja Boy - Soulja Boy - True Dat!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Everything - Michael Buble - That's kind of nice...a little lame...but nice.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Build Me Up Buttercup - The Foundations - Let's not think too hard on this one.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
No More Tears (Enough is Enough) - Donna Summer and Barbra Streisand

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LOVE?
Nights on Broadway - Bee Gees - Doesn't everyone when they see Matt?

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Paperback Writer - The Beatles - That translates to "immensely talented", right?

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
GhostBusters - Ray Parker Jr. - Bet you didn't know that it was Johnny Depp's favorite song...Yep, and we're gonna dance to it!

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Tuff Enuff - Fabulous Thunderbirds - YOU BET!!!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Jack and Diane - John Mellencamp - I keep them as pets.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Because of You - Kelly Clarkson - That's right...It's YOUR fault!

WHATS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Learn To Fly - Foo Fighters - What if I don't look good with wings???

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Upside Down - Jack Johnson - Probably true-er than you think.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
One Particular Harbour - Jimmy Buffet

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Dirty - Christina Aguilera - Chaps always make me giggle.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Signed, Sealed, Delivered I'm Yours - Stevie Wonder - Anything sadder than the postal system?

WHAT SCARES YOU MOST?
Lying Eyes - The Eagles - Especially when they're in a jar!!! AUGGHHH!!!

DOES ANYONE LOVE YOU?
Shake It - Metro Station - If they didn't, they do after that song!

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME - WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Land of Confusion - Genesis

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Xanadu - Olivia Newton John - And it's been bothering me ALL DAY!!!!!

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Little Bird - Annie Lennox

So there you have it. Now you know what kind of loser playlist I have!

Wednesday's Haiku for You

You better watch out

Ms. Angelina Jolie

Jennifer is mad!

And The Winners Are...

Sorry Ladies and Gentleman for my tardiness on my Pay it Foward prizes.

As you recall I was going to pick names out a hat to give the gift of a sign that Matt will make for you with your favorite Disney Character and your child's name (or who ever's name)

Here are the winners:

Amy at Bryant/Satoskar Family

Heather's Sister at Tales from the Lunchroom

Jeannie at Jeannie's Happy World

Anna Lefler at Life Just Keeps Getting Weirder

Tori Z at Torizworld

Please leave in comments what character you want and the name you want to put on it and I will let you know when it's finished and we can work out the delivery. It might take a little while because they are all drawn by Matt and he is working a lot right now. Of Course, if your child prefers something other that Disney, let me know and he can probably do it. (Including Twilight, Heather's Sister)

I also have 2 winners of the Quirky Contest, except I'm not quite sure what the prize is yet. Two people really stood out on the Quirkiness and those two are:

Ladystyx

Intense Guy

Both of you are Nut Bags and I love it!!! I will come up with a prize in the next couple of days for you.

The Obsession Starts

Text message to Matt tonight:

I NEED THE 2ND BOOK NOW!!!! GIMME...GIMME...GIMME!!!!!

Johnny Depp Monday

I could barely tear myself away from the book 'Twilight" to post this picture. But I know how it makes all of your Mondays special. Gotta Go, Gotta Read!!!

Some Call it "Crazy"...I Call it "Quirky"...You Be The Judge

While reading my friend Jeannie's blog today, she asked us to list 7 tidbits about ourselves in her comments. At the end of the workday, I finally had time to leave my comment and then I went home. On the way home, I got to thinking. Some of those answers were a little weird, maybe I shouldn't have let Jeannie and her readers "behind the curtain" so to speak. At least not this soon, I mean she is kinda new to my blog, I don't want to scare her off.



I started discussing it with Matt tonight and I decided that everyone probably has a little something that makes them...let's call it "unique". So, I am offering up a challenge, I will tell you my most quirky and if you choose to accept, you leave your quirkiest behaviors in the comments. By the end of the weekend, we will know a little bit more about each other and that we are not alone in our "uniqueness". I will also have a prize for the King or Queen of Quirky. I don't know what it is yet, but trust me, it'll be good.



So here's a little inspiration for you all, the 7 things I wrote on Jeannie's blog and a few more that Matt reminded me of. Some of them you might have heard before if you read older posts.



1) I HATE peas. I despise everything about them!! I won't cook them and I forbid Matt from cooking them when I am home. But, amazingly I enjoy split pea soup.



2) I have a non-sexual crush on Queen Latifa (ok, maybe a little sexual)

3) I am obsessed with license plate stickers and I have to look at all of them around me when I'm driving. When I see one that's expired, I yell out SCOFFLAW!!!!!

4) I have 13 Webkinz of my own and the number is growing daily.

5) Most of the time I do my daughter's homework. But not the important stuff (just the coloring or word searches), so all you teachers, ex-teachers, teacher's aides, or generally "crunchy" moms...BACK OFF, sometimes it's just easier.

6) I can recite word for word the opening to the TV show "Odd Couple". You know; "On November 13th Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his place of residence..."

7) I am never on time and I truly believe there is a time suck right outside my back door that sucks 10 minutes from me everyday when I leave.

8) I have an irrational fear of sand. And it terrified me when we had to trace letters in sand at Montessori School.

9) For years I believed that the song "Another Day in Paradise" by Phil Collins was about people who couldn't find a hotel room while on vacation.

10) When I was in first grade my grandfather sent an egg salad sandwich to school everyday. My great grandparents had an anniversary party and some one made a TON of sandwiches that no one ate, so they put them in the freezer and gave me one each day. Half of it was frozen, half soggy. To this day I will not even TOUCH egg salad. (I honestly don't know why Child Services weren't called!)

11) When I was 18 years old I traveled to London, England to stalk Rowan Atkinson. I got as far as the outside of his office, and I chickened out. ( I did have a really good time though)

12) When I was 20, I got Mono and my step-father made me go to bed at 10pm every night. I would sit in my room and do word searches. I can do a 25 word word search in alphabetical order in 1.46 minutes.

Ahhhh....CLEANSED!!!

Now it's your turn. C'mon 'Merica, let your freak flag fly!!! As I once read on this vast Internet of ours:

I don't care if you lick windows Take the special bus Or occasionally pee on yourself ....... You hang in there sunshine You're friggin special. ...

A Small Call for Help

Vivi received a Dora the Explorer bath set for her birthday. It comes complete with a waterproof Dora in a bathing suit, and her twin siblings in an inner tube.

After her bath the other day, we were cleaning out the toys from the bathtub, (I honestly don’t know how she fits in there with them) and she picked up the twins.

Vivi: “Mommy, What’s there names?”

Me: “I don’t know, maybe Daddy knows?”

Vivi, holding up the toy: Daddy, What’s their names?”

Matt looks on the box it came in: “The box just says twins.”

Vivi: “Mommy, Daddy say no.”

Me: Ok, I bet I know who knows, lets ask Emmy.”

Recently, Emerson was in big trouble and was being punished. She was allowed to watch TV, but only shows that Vivi wanted to watch. So, she’s seen her fair share of Dora (not to mention Wa Wa Wobzie, Little Bill, and Max and Ruby)

Me: “Hey Em, what are the names of Dora’s brother and sister?”

Emerson: “I don’t think they have names.”

WHAT? What do mean “They don’t have names”??!!!! They have to have names!!!!

I look it up on the internet.

The only thing I can find is that some one said their names were Knee Sock and Backpack.

That doesn’t make any sense, which one is which. I can only assume that the boy is Backpack (It just sounds more masculine) But isn’t that the name of the actual Backpack on the show? Was the child named in honor of the backpack?

And what about Knee Sock? Is that one word or two? And is that a shout out to Boots the monkey?

So here is my plea, most of you who read this have children and I’m sure you’ve seen Dora (about a zillion times) so…

PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THESE $$##!@#$@# CHILDREN’S NAMES ARE!!!!!!!!

Fun with McMatty and Wife

So as you can tell, Matt and I text back and forth a lot.

Here is the latest installment. (Everything in parenthesis are little pieces of the story that I feel you should know)

Matt: I'm going to the Alpaca Farm. I like them because they spit LOL. (He goes to do the HVAC twice a year, the woman requests him)

Me: DON'T BRING ONE HOME! (She's always trying to give him one)

Matt: You take the piss out of everything! LMAO!

Me: That's what I live for.

Me: BTW, the stupid car did that battery thing again! The loopy thing is on tight, so it must be the wires this time. FIX IT!

Matt: Ok. I'll do it in all the spare time I have! LOL! Here's what's going to happen... We are going to make a list of EVERYTHING wrong with that car. Then YOU are going to take it to Pep Boys, get an estimate, and then we'll get it fixed. And thats all I gotta say about that.

Me: I have no response to that.

Matt: Well that's a first!!! Obama was right. There IS a change! LOL

Me: Oh wait I just thought of something, but it's more of a gesture.

Matt: LOL! When you text me my phone goes "Bling, bling, bling" really loud. Its making the Alpaca jump. I'm going to get spit on, I just know it. I'll let you know when I'm otta here.

Me: (giggling) Did this one make them spit?

Matt: STOP IT! If they do, I'm going to wrap it up, take it home and throw it on you!

Katie (My friend at work) texts Matt: Becky says Hi

So now you see that I am evil, and probably shouldn't be allowed to play with others.

Wednesday's Haiku For You

Barack Obama

You fought for change and for hope

And we fought for you.

What Am I...NEW?

WARNING...WARNING...WARNING! I call my husband a bad word in this post, so if you are sensitive to that kind of thing...TOUGH. He deserved it!

Matt is allergic to pork, he breaks out in hives if he eats anything with pork in it. I have been married to Matt for 13 years, I am well aware of his allergy. I am the last person who will ever give him pork because I'm the person who ends up scratching his back.

The fact that his allergy is always in the for front of my mind does not stop Matt from reminding me of it every chance he gets.

Today I was in the grocery store on my lunch break and I sent him a text regarding what I should make for dinner. This is how it went:

Me: What should I make for dinner?

Matt: Goulash!

Me: But that takes an hour just to bake. I'll make it on Sunday.

Matt: Oh OK

Me: Are Italian sausage sandwiches ok?

Matt: OH SURE!!!!! I ALREADY HAD HIVES THIS WEEK...WHY NOT???!!!!

Me: I got you turkey sausage, asshole!

Matt: Ohhh...LMAO! Okay then!

The Prize Winner of Chicago, Illinois

Matt: "I think you need a bit of a reality check."

Me: "What? Why?"

Matt: You've been walking around here with that crown on your head for 2 days."

Me: "So?"

Matt: "Whenever you mention your blog, you call it your "Award-Winning Blog" Every time the girls call out Mommy, you correct them with "Award-Winning Mommy"

Me: "What's you point?"

Matt: "Maybe you're taking this award business a little too far?"

Me: "You owe me an award-winning apology!"

Johnny Depp Monday