Johnny Depp Monday!

Can't you just see the thought bubble? "Becky is waiting for me in the trailer, can we get this over with?"

Six Word Saturday!

Today deserves a fun pin up.

If you would like to join SWS, go see Cate at Show My Face.

A MeMe for Me-Me or You-You, Whichever You Prefer.

I got this from Kimber over at I Know, Right?! and I thought it was interesting. I have been running a little dry on the posts lately and I decided to give it a try.

1. Why are you here right now, at my site? Don't be cute, tell the truth.

Well, I came over initially to wish you a happy birthday but then I wasn't able to leave a comment, so I emailed you instead.

2. What is something you left undone today? Why did you leave it and what is the consequence?

Absolutely everything including getting dressed! I did, however, get a shower in, but then I just sat around and let myself air dry. No consequences as of yet.

3. If you saw a child about to lick a cut lemon, what would you do? Again, don't be cute.

My mouth would salivate to the point of drool, I would make a pucker face and turn away. Matt would put salt on it and then laugh at the faces the child makes, he's cruel like that.

4. Willie Nelson-Backwoods Redneck or God Among Men?

I don't think he is someone who is able to be pigeon-holed.

5. If I asked your Momma "what is the greatest thing you taught your child"? What would she say?

Pretty is as Pretty does. Always be compassionate and caring.

6.Recently you saw something fabulous. What was it?

Well, Matt left the door open today when he peed, that was pretty impressive. Other than that, I haven't been shopping because I have no job to buy clothes for.

7. Have you ever 'almost died', how?

You'd be surprised on what doesn't actually kill you.

8. Halloween or 4th of July?

Hmmm...beer or candy....beer or candy...I'll go candy. There's a better variety.

9. Everyone has something memorized. What do you have memorized? Your PIN is not an acceptable answer.

I told you guys this before but I can recite the entire opening monologue to the TV show The Odd Couple. I know...it's a gift.

10. If you had to be homeless in a US city for a year, which city would you choose and why?

I'd be a surfer in Maui and I'm going to quote my favorite line from Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

"When life gives you lemons, say f*ck the lemons and bale!" (I think I'm going to get this on a T-shirt)

If you would like to do this, go right ahead. I'm not tagging anyone.

Wednesday Haiku To You

We are two days in

And Emerson loves her class

This year is better.

I would also like to wish my good friend Kimber over at I Know, Right?! a very happy birthday!

Johnny Depp Monday!

I don't know what it is about this picture, but everytime I see it, it takes me a few minutes to recover. I'm not going to get anything done today!

I Am Getting Bitchy in My Old Age!

Every year some family members and I get together and have a garage sale at my old house. The house is now owned by my mother's best friend, Kendra. They have been best friends since they were 5, she is more family to me than most of my blood relatives.

Every year, I have to remind Kendra to use her "soothing words" when a customer get particularly annoying. When she starts in on "This isn't Water Tower Place!!" or "I would rather take scissors and cut it up than to sell it to you for that price" That's when I usually step in to smooth over the situation.

That was until yesterday.

We had our garage sale (it continues today) and Kendra had a doctor's appointment in the late morning. She left her husband, John, and me in charge. That was her first mistake.

First off, John sold a $40 display table that Kendra loved for $3. Even loaded it their car for them. It was a really nice folding patio table with a handle. I remember watching him fold it up and thinking, "That's really nice, I would have bought that for $3!!" Needless to say, he wasn't asked to be "in charge" anymore which is what I think was his plan. I believe he subscribes to the Bill Cosby way of thinking. Screw it up the first time and you will never be asked to do it again.

Then there was what can only be described as the "Champagne Flute Incident". Now, I'm not saying I am proud of what transpired, but it is what it is.

This real piece of work lady came to the sale. She picked up everything and asked what the price was (everything had a price tag on it) then she would tell us how much she would give us for it. Sometimes we said yes, sometimes we said no, but she always just put the item back. She came across a set of 6 champagne flutes that were marked $1 a piece. They were really pretty, clear flute with a purple colored glass stem. She told me she would give me $4 for the set. Fine, it was only a $2 difference. I started to help her take them up to the table and she said. "Wait, let me take them into the light to make sure they are perfect, I don't want any chips!" Fine, I took them into the light for her inspection. When she was satisfied with the quality of the merchandise, I brought them up to the table for her. This is were I just sort of snapped. Here's how the conversation went.

Her: "I want them wrapped individually. I want them wrapped individually, You are going to do that for me, right? You are going to wrap them individually for me, right? You have something to wrap them up separately for me, right?"

At this point, I was still Bill Bixby, but my eyes were turning green.

Me: "Well, maybe for $5 or $6 dollars I would have wrapped them for you, but for $4, I don't know."

She gives a flinty little laugh.

The shirt that I'm wearing starts to rip.

I go and get small brown paper bags, and give her the "You gonna get cut!!!" laugh that I patented a couple of years ago. I start to wrap the glasses.

Her: "Well, I don't want them to get damaged, I am paying $4 for them!"

That's it, I was full blown Lou Ferrigno, all green with no shirt and tattered pants.

Me: "For $4 you can chuck them at passing cars and still get your money's worth!!!! Have a nice day!"

With that, she took her glasses, got into her over sized, overpriced SUV and drove away.

Kendra was so proud.

I don't think I should do garage sales anymore, people annoy me too much! I am this close to becoming the old man who shakes his cane and yells profanities at the passersby.

Wednesday Haiku To You!

School starts on Monday

My, where has the summer gone?

Last year in grade school

Johnny Depp Monday!

Finally, Luck Was On My Side.

I have had an eventful few days. As most of you know, I lost my lower dentures. I did go on vacation without them. While everyone sat on the deck at ate, I hid in the room. Luckily we grilled at the resort and didn't eat at restaurants. It was fine. We had a great time. I am working on the post to show you all the pictures.

When we got home, I had an appointment with another dentist for a consultation. I had found them on the web because they had that capability to provide dentures in a day. While on the phone with them, I happen to mention that I might be interested in having implants put in so that the dentures snap in instead of using adhesive.

I went on Thursday, they took a CT Scan, and then talked to me about the implants. To the tune of $20,000!!!! They did say that $6000 was knocked off the price because they wouldn't have to do any extractions. That was the only thing they talked about. Not getting me some temporary lowers or anything. As interesting as the procedure sounds, I am not in any kind of position to spend $20,000. I was depressed.

I have a wedding to go to today and the last thing I wanted to do was go without my lower dentures. It's one thing to be with your family, no makeup, sort of camping, but it's a completely different thing to be dressed up at a function. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

I went back online. There has got to be an inexpensive, quick alternative. There it was, like a beacon! A company that specializes in cheap, fast dentures. They are located all around the country and have a price list on their website. A set of lower "economy" dentures are $255!!!!!

Here's the problem, to get same day service, you have to be at the office to register when they open at 7:45am. The closest office to me was about an hour away close to the Illinois/Wisconsin border and they don't take appointments. It's first come first serve.

So, yesterday, I packed cereal and lunch for the girls, and headed out at 6:30am. We arrived at 7:40. They took me right away, did some impressions, made the mold and then told me to come back at 11:45am. The nurse said that I picked the right day because they are usually lined up on the sidewalk to get in.

The girls and I walked around Target for a while, bought a pocket game of "Pass The Pig", sat in the trunk of the car eating our sandwiches and playing the game. 11:30 came and we decided to go in a little early. I walked in, they told me they were ready, I went in the room, they fit perfectly!!! We were home by 1:00pm and they only cost $255!!!!!

I am so happy that I don't have to eat soft food anymore!! I am sitting here right now eating 2 Eggo waffles, burnt with just butter (just how I like them) and coffee! Finally, something went my way!!!!!

Wednesday Haiku To You!

Ducks followed Vivi,

Emerson got a tattoo,

I got chigger bites!

Johnny Depp Monday

I am so sorry! I flaked and didn't schedule anything for today. My mother graciously let me use her laptop to post this, but I can't get a picture up. So here's a link to a nice picture of him. Again, I am sorry and I will accept my well deserved flogging.

Gone Fishin'

I am on vacation in Wisconsin. I'll be back on Tuesday, so save up all your stories until then.

Have a great weekend!

Wednesday's Haiku For You

Getting to stay home

I’m able to see old friends

I love Gilmore Girls!

Not My Finest Moment

So, Deanna guessed it. I lost my teeth. Not all of my teeth, just the bottom dentures. I still have the tops, but when I wear just them, I feel like a can opener.

First a little back story, I made the decision to get dentures right after I had Vivi. My teeth had always been very soft and after having 2 kids, they just got worst. I would wake up in the morning and literally spit pieces of tooth out because I grind my teeth in my sleep.

I was also completely traumatized by a dentist when I was a child and I hadn't gone in a few years. It took all my inner strength to gather myself up and go to get this done. I sobbed sitting in the waiting room on my first consultation.

3 years later, I am relatively happy with the dentures. I have a smile again, but it does come with some draw backs. It took a really long time to get used to them. I can't really bite into anything because it loosens them. I have to be careful about spontaneous laughter, just in case they go shooting out of my mouth. Then there is the overnight trips with other people. It is almost impossible to sleep in them and I have to get up really early and put them in so that no one really sees me without teeth. (My sister saw me once and freaked out)

For over a week now, I have not left the house because I lost the bottoms. Saturday night, I was on the computer, and I took out my teeth because they were loose and bothering me. Because I was so busy with what I was doing, I laid them on the table next to me and I was going to put them in the bathroom the next time I went in there. Well, I forgot, which I frequently do, and when I got up the next morning only the tops were where I left them. I have NO IDEA what happened. We have torn the house apart looking. Matt has gone through the garbage, we have moved furniture and everything, they just disappeared.

I am at my wits end. I called the dentist and they want $1500 to replace them and it's going to take a few weeks to have them made. I am suppose to go on our annual vacation this weekend and then next weekend I have a family wedding.

I showed a family member who is going on vacation with us what I looked like with just the tops and she said that you can't even tell. I feel very self conscience and I can only eat really soft thing. Not to mention that it isn't very comfortable and effects my speech.

My only option is to go on vacation and then next week I have an appointment with another dentist who specializes in dentures. I believe they will be able to get me temporary bottoms and then we are discussing the option of titanium implants so I can stop using denture glue. The implants also completely eliminate the bone loss that regular dentures cause.

This has been a complete nightmare!!!! I just really wish I knew what happened to them. I can't even imagine where they went other than they got thrown away by accident and they're gone forever.

Maybe I'll take a picture with just the tops in and you guys can tell me what you think?

Johnny Depp Monday!

I haven't been around lately because I lost something very important. Without it, my life is at a stand still. I can't go on vacation next week, I can't go to a wedding in 2 weeks, I can't even leave the house. If I have to get it replaced, it's gonna cost me $1500 and even then it's will probably take weeks.

So, while I tear my house apart looking for it and pray to St. Anthony at the same time, here's something for you to look at.