This Week's Shopping Trip.

Today's the day that I regale you with another installment of "Shopping for Dad", my weekly soap opera.

This week didn't have the drama of last week, but it wasn't without it quirks.

First, I am still sick with this cold and anything I do feels like a chore. Second, the girls are home this week, so they had to with me. And, finally, my dad's bizzaro list.

We got over there about 11am and he paid me up front, but not without a big production to show everyone he was giving me the money. ( I took it with my left hand) Then we went over his list and coupons. Meanwhile, my children were stripping they were so hot. My stepmother keeps the thermostat set at 81 degrees.

His list included, but was not limited to;

2% milk

whole milk

chicken thighs with the skin

about 25 different soups

turkey breast from the deli sliced medium

black angus beef from the deli sliced thin (but only if it was rare)

krakus ham sliced thin

2 Aveeno lotions

3 different loaves of bread

tealight candles

and an array of other goods.

It took us 45 minutes to do it and we were back at their house, sweating and putting the groceries away.

The one thing that did strike me as quite odd was that he had 12 rolls of toilet paper on the list. I just bought him 12 Charmin Big Rolls last week. How much toilet paper do two people need?

Yesterday, he called me to wish me a Happy Thanksgiving. (they refuse to go anywhere or do anything for the holiday) While we were talking he told me that if I was taking a trip to Sam's Club, Walmart, K-mart or any other store to give him a call. He might need me to pick up some items for them.

So, now as it turns out, I'm on call.

By the way, my mother finds this whole thing hysterical and calls me continuously to rattle off things she would like me to buy for her.

Happy Thanksgiving!

To all my bloggy friends for whom I am truly thankful!

Johnny Depp Monday!

Update: Matt is feeling better. No more wheezing and just a small cough is left.

And because it's par for the course, I'm sick. All I can say is "Thank God for Alka Seltzer Cold Plus!"

Now, I'm Starting to Get Really Worried...

Matt is not any better. He has finished the Levaquin the doctors gave him and he still feels terrible. He has horrible headaches and when he sleeps he wheezes.

He doesn't want to go back to the doctor to spend more money on a co-pay.

If this was one of my kids, I would have had them at the doctor days ago. But how do you get a grown man to go? I'm at my wits end.

Where is Eddie Money With Those 2 Tickets to Paradise?

I know that I'm not working right now, but I totally need a vacation. And not one with my family! They are making me NUTS!!!!

The girls have gone through their normal fall illnesses, colds, sore throats, coughs, etc. We have dealt with it. It's never fun when your children are sick, especially when you have clingy kids like I do. All they want is for me to hold them and usually both at the same time.

They are both healthy now, thank goodness. But now, my third and most needy child had pneumonia. That's right, it's Matt.

He is by far worse than both my kids and all of Kate Gosselin's kids rolled into one. (Especially that brat, Maddie) I am so done with the tissues, coughing, whining, moaning, and all around acting like an infant. I know he feels bad, but SUCK IT UP!!!!

I know I sound like the worse wife ever, but when I was feeling bad a few weeks ago, life went on. There was no one there to coddle me. In fact, both kids were sick too, so my illness took a back seat.

All I would like is to lay on a nude beach with Johnny Depp, is that too much to ask???? Come on Johnny, I know you read the blog, throw away that restraining order and come and pick me up. I'll make margaritas!!!

As I Always Suspected!

I have been getting text messages, tweets, (or as I like to call them, twats, because I'm juvenile that way) facebook messages, comments and phone calls. All telling me what I have already know for many years now.

I can't wait to get my copy on Friday! And to think, I didn't have anything to do this weekend!

Congrats Johnny! You will always be the sexiest in my eyes!

Finally, the world has caught up to me!

It's Elementary Dear Watson!

Recently, my father asked me to do their grocery shopping for them. He is not old or feeble, he just sort of doesn't want to do it anymore. He offered me a proposal to do their weekly grocery shopping for them and they would pay me $25 to do it.

I agreed to do it on Wednesdays because I drop off Vivi at preschool and I could swing by, get their list and go before I have to pick her up. And who couldn't use an extra $25 a week? That's bowling money.

When he asked me it was Monday and they were out of a few essentials like toilet paper. I told them that I would come over and get their list, go, and then do it on Wednesdays in the future. ( I truly am gunning for the first chair in heaven.)

I went, armed with coupons, and did the shopping. After I brought them into the house and unloaded for them, I left. That's when I realized that I forgot to get my payment. I fretted about it for a little while but decided to give dad a call in the morning. My plan was to tell him that I forgot to get it from them this time but the next time, I will just write the check over.

Good on paper, right? Not so good in real life. I called yesterday morning and said my little speech, this is what I got.

Dad: "I gave it to you!" "It was when you first got here and you put it in your pocket."

I have no recollection of this transaction. I checked the pockets of my pants, my jacket, I checked my box of coupons, and the car. Nothing.

I didn't call him back because our relationship is weird. I didn't want to accuse him of not giving me the money so he can turn it around on me. (That's how it is)

He did, however call me back to see if I found it. When I told him no, he got sort of exasperated and said the he would give me "Another" $25. I told him that I must have lost it and it was my fault so he doesn't owe my anything. (Meanwhile, feeling like I must be losing my mind) Then he said the most interesting thing;

Dad: "I gave it to you when you first got here, you took it with your right hand and put it in your right hand pants pocket."

Wait....What?

I called my mom right away and told him what he said. (They're divorced) Here's what she said.

Mom: "Then he obviously didn't give you the money!"

Me: "That's what I thought, there is no way he gave it to me!"

Can you guess why?

That's right! I am completely left handed. I do absolutely EVERYTHING with my left hand. In fact, if my right arm was cut off from my body, life would go on as if nothing ever happened.

Seriously, there is no way I would have taken anything with my right hand, let alone put it in my right hand pants pocket. It doesn't even exist to me.

So, now my mom wants me to call him and tell him that their is no way he gave me the money because I wouldn't have taken it like he remembered. She also wants me to ask him if he knows me at all? I don't think I'll be doing that. I think I will just let it go and next week, I will right the check over by $25 and not worry about it.

I missed my calling, I should have been a detective. Eat your heart out Nancy Drew!!!!

Johnny Depp Monday!

She Wants To Rock and Roll All Night and Part of Every Day!

Or is it Party Every day? I can never get it right!

A few new developments have come to light about little Miss Vivi. She is now 5 years old, she is 31 pounds (such a little peanut), she loves preschool, and she is obsessed with KISS.

No Little Einsteins or Dora the Explorer for my little girl, she is all about Paul Stanley, Gene Simmons, Ace Frehley and Peter Criss. Especially Peter Criss!

It started with my "Mom-of-The-Year Super Duper Parenting". I inadvertently let the girls watch the last 30 minutes of Role Models. If you have seen the movie, you know that there is a HUGE Kiss reference. That was all it took.

Then, I didn't realize that KISS is actually everywhere you look. They were watching The Fairly OddParents and the band made an animated guest star appearance.

We were walking around Walmart and she spotted a KISS t-shirt that she so desperately wants, she bugs me about it daily. The only problem I have is that it's a woman's shirt and even the smallest size would have to be used as a nightshirt. I told her that it was too big for her to wear outside the house and she was okay with that, so it looks like I am taking a trip to Walmart.

She told us that her and Stacy (her imaginary friend) went to the KISS concert. Of course, Stacy likes KISS too.

Emerson showed her the magic of Youtube and pulled up concert footage. Vivi sat their for an hour watching it. She was just fascinated.

Last year, her and I had a little fight because she wanted to wear her Alice in Wonderland dress to Thanksgiving. Well, guess what she wants to be this year. That's right, Peter Criss. I think I may put the makeup on her one day and see how she likes it.

Until something else catches little Vivi's eye, we are all Detroit Rock City around here.

Johnny Depp Monday!

Now, if we could just get rid of the pesky windshield, camera lens, computer screen that keep us apart...

Johnny Depp Monday!

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus - Limited US release December 25, 2009