Johnny Depp Monday!

I joined a gym and today is my first appointment with my new trainer, Pete. He's a Marine. I'm scared!! Pray for me and I will update you tomorrow.

Johnny Depp Monday!

I See This Kid Running Playboy One Day.

Yesterday was my day to be Room Mom for Vivi's preschool. I do have to say, even though I come out of it exhausted, I do have fun with these kids.

There are 22 kids in the class and because last Wednesday was a snow day and they didn't have school on Monday due to President's day, they postponed their Valentine's day party until today.

This was very good news for me because that meant the other parents signed up to bring something and I didn't have to bring a snack.

It's not that I don't want to buy a snack, it's just that I tend to over think it. I really want the snack to be nutritious, but I also want the kids to like me the best. I usually try to bring Pirate's Booty, string cheese, pretzels, juice and fruit because I worry that some kids might have allergies or they prefer one to the other. (I am so neurotic!) The result is that these kids get a variable feast on the days I'm there. (I also gravitate to the non-messy food. A little trick I learn from years of being a "Backstage Mom" at dance recitals.) But, I didn't have to this time, all I had to do was show up with my kid and her valentines. Woo-Hoo!

We started out the morning with circle time. Because I was Room Mom, Vivi got to dress the paper frog on the bulletin board for the weather and put the date on the calendar (Both are very coveted jobs) We read a story about 2 Crazy Pigs that I found a tad disturbing. First the farmer and his wife kick the 2 pigs off the farm for being crazy and then moved to the city and abandoned the rest of the animals. Luckily, the pigs found a new farm and the rest of the animals were welcome there too. Phew!! I was on pins and needles for a minute there wondering what would happen to those poor farm animals!

After circle time, the kids went to go play and one of the teachers and I brought a few at a time to the table to decorate their Valentine's shoe boxes. This was fun because you got to talk to each of them one on one. The girls really like when I showed them how to glue a heart shaped doily on to a construction paper heart to make a lace heart.

Once everyone made a box, we set them to the side to dry while the kids played and the teachers and I cleaned up and set up for the party.

In order to distract a couple of the little boys from all the food on the table, I got on the floor with them and we played Dinosaurs vs. Soldiers. Within 5 minutes, all the kids were playing with me. Then we played "I bet I can clean up faster than you!" and made a big production when I lost.

Circle Time again!!! This time we dance the chicken dance and the kids did the limbo while I held the stick while the teachers set up the boxes in a line for the Valentine pass out. One by one we helped each child pass out their Valentines.

It was finally time to eat!!! For a special treat, they got ICE CREAM SUNDAES!!!!!!! I was in charge of the toppings. Each child lined up and they told me what they wanted and I put it on the ice cream. They were all so polite!!! Every single one of them said please and thank you.

After they ate, we lined up and went into the gym to let off some steam. Vivi's class is 4 and 5 year olds, but there is another class of 3 year olds. They all go into the gym to play together.

As I was running around with the kids, a little boy from the 3 year old class came up to me.

"You have big boobies!!!"

Then he ran into a group of other laughing 3 year olds.

I suspect that this child dons a silk robe and a pipe when he's at home.

Watch your back Hugh, there's a new kid in town!

This Must Be Why They Call It "Fat" Tuesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, which means that yesterday was Fat Tuesday. Now, I don't know how the rest of the nation celebrates (Not you NOLA, I am aware of how you celebrate) but in Chicago it is affectionately know as Pączki day.

Here is the Wikipedia definition:

A pączki is a deep-fried piece of dough shaped into a flattened sphere and filled with confiture or other sweet filling. Pączki are usually covered with powdered sugar, icing or bits of dried orange zest. A small amount of grain alcohol (traditionally, Spiritus) is added to the dough before cooking; as it evaporates, it prevents the absorption of oil deep into the dough.
Although they look like bismarcks or jelly doughnuts, pączki are made from especially rich dough containing eggs, fats, sugar and sometimes milk. They feature a variety of fruit and creme fillings and can be glazed, or covered with granulated or powdered sugar. Powidła (stewed plum jam) and wild rose hip jam are traditional fillings, but many others are used as well, including strawberry, Bavarian cream, blueberry, custard, raspberry and apple.

In a word...HEAVEN!!!! My favorite are the ones that are filled with fresh strawberries and whipped cream

You can only get them this week. But, to me you should only eat a pączki on Fat Tuesday.

At 7:50am, my phone rang with my mother on the other end. She got up early and got over to Dinkel's Bakery on Lincoln Ave and pick up some for me. (Thank God, because there was no way I was getting up early when the kids were both off of school.) I just needed to come and pick them up at her work.

I needed to do a few things, so after I went and talked to Vivi's teacher (I'm room mom today and last week they didn't get to have their Valentine's day party because of the snow. They only go to school on Mondays and Wednesdays, so they are having it today since Monday was President's day) I stopped off at Mom's work. There they were in their pretty pink and white box with the string tied around it. My mouth started to salivate with just the thought of those deep fried little devils!

Because I was already in the neighborhood, I decided to go over to Tony's Italian Deli to pick up Vivi her "meat" (Kraukus ham, she can't get enough. She'll eat it every meal if I let her) I also had to take Uncle Jim to work.

This meant that my Pączki-induced coma was going to be delayed a bit. I carefully put them in the backseat so they were out of my sight. I really didn't want someone to pull up next to me at a stoplight and look over at me with my head stuffed into a bakery box...again.

I walked into the house.

Me: "Happy Pączki DAY!!!! I have Pączkis!!!!"

Emerson: "What are those?"

I open the box to let them bask in the goodness.

Emerson: "They're doughnuts."

Vivi (looking in the other bag I brought in) "Mommy, you got me MEAT!!!!"

Me: "They're are not doughnuts, they're Pączkis. That's Polish for 'better that doughnuts'"

"I got Raspberry and Strawberry with whipped cream."

Emerson: "But, we don't like jelly filled doughnuts."

Vivi: "YUCK!!"

Me: "They're Pączki!!!!!"

Vivi: "Mommy, you make me a samich?"

Emerson (turning her nose up at the bakery box) "Yeah, me too."

Oh well, more for me.

So, Apparently? I'm Twelve.

As a frequent reader to this blog, you are probably aware that I am inclined to have fits of fancy. (Read: complete and udder obsessions) So recently, when I haven't been thinking about Johnny Depp, Twilight, Pin-up Girls, etc. I inadvertently became bat-shit crazy over two new things. (Sorry folks, I searched the Internet for a word that would be equivalent to Bat-shit crazy but nothing really compares.)

The first being an author named Jen Lancaster. She has wrote 4 hysterical books with a new one on the way this spring, I believe.

Bitter is the New Black

Bright Lights, Big Ass

Such a Pretty Fat

Pretty in Plaid

If you find me at all amusing, you definitely have to read her. (Really, go get the books)

She is a woman from Chicago, a little on the zaftig side who suddenly found herself unemployed with no place to wear her designer shoes. She started out blogging, and still does it. (Seriously...why haven't you gotten these books yet? Go...Go...I'll wait)

Her website is Jennsylvania.com

Because we're from the same 'hood, I am temped to go find (read: stalk) her. I know that we would be besties in no time. Matt however reminded me that I once thought Jenny McCarthy and I were going to be besties, but she wasn't that interested when I thrusted my pregnant belly in her face at a book signing. But, I digress.

Jen Lancaster...Read her...Love her.

The second thing that has thrown me into fits of giggles is something called a Penny-tee.

Now if any of you have ever watched the kid's show "ICarly" (and I know some of you do, admit it) you may know what I'm talking about.

A Penny-tee is a ringer t-shirt that is worn by the characters on ICarly. They have random words on them.

I looked all over the place to see if I was able to buy them. I found a few on Cafepress but instead of spending $22+ on one shirt, I just decided to make my own. I bought a few ringer tees at Old Navy for $6 a piece, some iron-on letters for about $3 and put Matt to work. (I'm upper management and he's labor) So far I have:

A blue one that says: Church Pants

A green one that says: Coffee Noodle

A purple one that says: Poodle Juice

A grey one that says: Elecric Ham (It was suppose to say Electric Ham, but Matt forgot to put on the "T". I just wear that one to bed with my SpongeBob pajama pants.)

So, there you have it. More proof that I am distracted by new and shiny things. As someone famous once said "I don't suffer from ADD, I simply...Oh look! A Squirrel!!"

Johnny Depp Monday!!

I have been a very delinquent blogger. There is no excuse, but I am now moving forward. I have made a commitment that I will be back in the bloggy world starting today. I am going post more and more. I am a Narcissus and I need the attention. I can't guarantee that they'll all be literary gems, but they will be true stories. (As unbelievable as some of them are)

I will also be reading and commenting on everybody. So, put on your Sunday best kiddies, I'm coming over. (And if you could lay out some of those Mint Milano...that would be SUPER!!)

So, the first order of business to get me out of my blog funk is...

That just puts it all in perspective, doesn't it???

Johnny Depp Monday!

Sorry this is a little late. We had a whole day of doctor and dentist appointments.

I don't know about Vanessa...but I'll CUT A BITCH!!!!!!

Johnny Depp Monday!

Oh yeah...That's the stuff!