Is there anyone out there????? Can you hear me????? Do you even care anymore????
Life has definitely thrown us some curves this last year. I am currently not employed but I definitely am working. Between my father, my family and now a great uncle, I am busier than a one-armed paper hanger!
First the good news, after a year and a half of driving him to and from work, Uncle Jim FINALLY got a car!!!!
Emerson started middle school and Vivienne started Kindergarten. They both seem to be enjoying it.
Matt got a new job with his company so he is now in the office. Which didn't come a moment too soon. Because on Sept. 4th Matt suffered a massive heart attack.
He's fine now and on the fast road to recovery (he wrote a post about it). But I can't tell you how scared I was.
I also have a great uncle whom I have been looking after. His name is Tom, he's 82 and lives alone, so we started doing odd jobs for him.
Last week, I went to the DMV to get his vehicle sticker. I called him to ask him a question and it turned out that he was stuck in bed with a twisted knee. I wasn't able to get into the house, so he had to try to open the window and throw me the keys. When I got in there, he couldn't get up to get anything to drink or eat. He couldn't get his meds that were in the kitchen or my phone number, He was trapped and I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't called him!
His "twisted knee" turned out to be an infection in his knee replacement. He is still in the hospital and called me almost hourly when I am not there with some problem.
Last night it was because he believed that his penis had disappeared. I went there this morning and assured him that it was still there without actually having to verify it. The meds that they have him on make him a little loopy.
Now that the kids are back in school, and Matt's back at work, I have a few minutes for myself. I am going to blogging again and I will be over to read all of you guys too.
I know, I've been a very bad blogger. For a while I just lost interest in doing it. It makes me wonder if I had been suffering from some sort of depression, they always say that it's a sign when you suddenly lose interest in things that you normally love to do. I don't know.
Anyway, I wanted to catch you guys up in what is going on around here.
Emerson and Vivienne are still doing very well in school. They both seem to love it, which makes life just a little easier.
Emerson, who is turning 11 on April 19th, (11 going on 30) is really looking forward to middle school because they don't have to wear uniforms. Her current school is the only public school in the district that requires uniforms. She has told us that she doesn't want anything big on her birthday, she wants to wait until July so she can have a big "back to school" shopping spree at Justice. The current style she would like to emulate is Selena Gomez/Alex from Wizards of Waverly Place. (which is really cute in a non-slutty sort of way)
She is so smart and witty, it just amazes me! We were watching the news when they announced that Tiger Woods was going to hold a press conference and make a public apology, and this is what she said.
"Tiger Woods owes me nothing. No apology, no explanation. He only needs to apologize to his wife, it's none of my business."
I just love that!!!
Matt came out of the bathroom after he shave his beard off and asked the girls if they noticed anything different.
Girls: "Um...No."
Matt: " Do you notice anything missing on me"
Emerson: "Your dignity?"
I honestly laughed for about an hour!!!
Vivienne's current obsession is still KISS. We gave her KISS action figures for Valentine's day and her favorite thing to wear is her KISS t-shirt. When I drive her to school, I have to play Detroit Rock City on the MP3 player because "It gets me going in the morning, Mommy."
She also still has her imaginary friend, Stacy, and Stacy still get herself into some unusual predicaments.
Matt's work has slowed down and he is now 7 days on, 7 days off. It makes things a little tight. But we are managing.
As for me, there are still times that I find myself looking around to see if there are cameras following me like "The Truman Show".
I now go to the gym 4 days a week. Mondays are with my trainer Peter. He is a former Marine (although I've always heard once a Marine, always a Marine) He is very sweet, even though he KICKS MY ASS any chance he gets!!!!
The first week, he gave me a strength test, just to see what I could do. I couldn't walk for 2 days after that.
The second week, one of the exercises that he made me do was to "bear crawl" across the basketball court. That is crawling on your feet and hands. For 4 days, it was hard for me to get out of the car.
The third week, he put a resistance band around my waist and made me pull him across the basketball court like a sled dog. Either he took it easy on me or I'm getting better because I wasn't nearly as sore as usual. I can't wait to see what's in store for me on Monday.
On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I do the homework that Peter assigned for me. He has pain stakingly laid out a workout plan for me. 3 days working 2 different muscle groups a day. I also have to do 30 minutes of cardio on all 4 days that I go to the gym. He told me that I could for go one of the days if I took a class. I take flow yoga on Fridays.
So far, I have lost 11/2" off my bust, 3 1/2" off my waist, 1 3/4" off of my hips and 6lbs.
One of the reasons I joined this particular gym was because they have a pool, sauna, steam room and a whirlpool. And it's only $39 a month with no contracts. I do pay extra for Peter, but if I wouldn't be doing nearly as well if I didn't have his guidance.
The first week, I decided that I was going to try out the pool. Even though it's been a while, I am an excellent swimmer and figured it would be easy... I WAS WRONG!!! I could barely do a lap!!!! I would swim a little, mostly in side stroke, and then walk a lap. But each week, I am doing so much better. It has now gotten to the point where I don't have to walk at all, I just swim in both breast stroke and front crawl.
Last week, I found a race online. It's called The Warrior Dash. It's 3.17 miles with 12 insane obstacles. After you complete it, you get a warrior hat and a beer. You can check it out at www.warriordash.com it is all over the United States, so maybe one of you would be interested in running it too.
That should do it for now, I have some funny gym stories but that will give me something to write next week.
Yesterday was my day to be Room Mom for Vivi's preschool. I do have to say, even though I come out of it exhausted, I do have fun with these kids.
There are 22 kids in the class and because last Wednesday was a snow day and they didn't have school on Monday due to President's day, they postponed their Valentine's day party until today.
This was very good news for me because that meant the other parents signed up to bring something and I didn't have to bring a snack.
It's not that I don't want to buy a snack, it's just that I tend to over think it. I really want the snack to be nutritious, but I also want the kids to like me the best. I usually try to bring Pirate's Booty, string cheese, pretzels, juice and fruit because I worry that some kids might have allergies or they prefer one to the other. (I am so neurotic!) The result is that these kids get a variable feast on the days I'm there. (I also gravitate to the non-messy food. A little trick I learn from years of being a "Backstage Mom" at dance recitals.) But, I didn't have to this time, all I had to do was show up with my kid and her valentines. Woo-Hoo!
We started out the morning with circle time. Because I was Room Mom, Vivi got to dress the paper frog on the bulletin board for the weather and put the date on the calendar (Both are very coveted jobs) We read a story about 2 Crazy Pigs that I found a tad disturbing. First the farmer and his wife kick the 2 pigs off the farm for being crazy and then moved to the city and abandoned the rest of the animals. Luckily, the pigs found a new farm and the rest of the animals were welcome there too. Phew!! I was on pins and needles for a minute there wondering what would happen to those poor farm animals!
After circle time, the kids went to go play and one of the teachers and I brought a few at a time to the table to decorate their Valentine's shoe boxes. This was fun because you got to talk to each of them one on one. The girls really like when I showed them how to glue a heart shaped doily on to a construction paper heart to make a lace heart.
Once everyone made a box, we set them to the side to dry while the kids played and the teachers and I cleaned up and set up for the party.
In order to distract a couple of the little boys from all the food on the table, I got on the floor with them and we played Dinosaurs vs. Soldiers. Within 5 minutes, all the kids were playing with me. Then we played "I bet I can clean up faster than you!" and made a big production when I lost.
Circle Time again!!! This time we dance the chicken dance and the kids did the limbo while I held the stick while the teachers set up the boxes in a line for the Valentine pass out. One by one we helped each child pass out their Valentines.
It was finally time to eat!!! For a special treat, they got ICE CREAM SUNDAES!!!!!!! I was in charge of the toppings. Each child lined up and they told me what they wanted and I put it on the ice cream. They were all so polite!!! Every single one of them said please and thank you.
After they ate, we lined up and went into the gym to let off some steam. Vivi's class is 4 and 5 year olds, but there is another class of 3 year olds. They all go into the gym to play together.
As I was running around with the kids, a little boy from the 3 year old class came up to me.
"You have big boobies!!!"
Then he ran into a group of other laughing 3 year olds.
I suspect that this child dons a silk robe and a pipe when he's at home.
Watch your back Hugh, there's a new kid in town!
That just puts it all in perspective, doesn't it???
Things are starting to get back to normal this week. But last week? It is definitely going to take some time to recover.
The week consisted of Erin and I running around to help out with the preparations for the services. I spent a lot of time in the car, and a lot of money on gas.
At times, we were at each other's throats. But there were a few moments that made us laugh out loud.
She texted something to one of her friends at home and the friend wrote back, (y) yeah!
When she showed it to me, I said "Ass yeah?"
Well, that got us into a giggle fit and when she texted her friend to find out what it meant, they said it was suppose to be a thumbs up. That made us laugh even harder. So from now on Erin and my favorite saying is "ASS YEAH!!" We said it for everything!
On Thursday, Erin was feeling a little helpless so she offered to make Dad some oxtail soup. (basically a beef barley soup) I took her to the store and dropped her off at Dad's to start the soup while I ran some errands. When I got back, Erin realized that she wasn't going to be able to finish the soup because it actually has to be refrigerated overnight and she wasn't going to be back on Friday except for the wake.
So, on Friday morning after I picked up Uncle Jim, I had to go over to dad's and finish the soup.
On the way over there, I called her and yelled "Next time you volunteer to make soup, I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE NOSE!!!!"
Then we laughed really hard.
I don't know about you, but I almost lost my shit yesterday!!!
As usual, I went on Bing.com to find a Johnny Depp picture, and this is what came up.
Johnny Depp Dies in Car Crash
OMG!!!! After I got out of the fetal position, I started clicking furiously, barely able to see through the tears in my eyes.
It was a HOAX!!! He is not dead. I repeat... NOT DEAD!!!
What would I have done???
So, here's a picture of the very much alive, Johnny.
Yesterday was a little rough. It seems that all the men in my life decided to be a jerk.
First, I went to do my father's grocery shopping. My stepmother is still in the hospital, but she is out of ICU. We are no way out of the woods, but it is a step forward.
Anyway, I went to dad's to get his list. His best friend is staying with him, so there were things on the list for him as well. When I returned after the shopping they were eating a very nice breakfast of eggs and toast.
When I walked in carrying all the grocery bags this is what was said.
Dad: (loud and snarky) "You have got to be kidding ME!!!" "Did YOU want some breakfast???!!"
I thought to myself, "Well dad, with such a nice and warm invitation like that, how can I refuse?"
But instead I just said "No, thank you." and proceeded to put all the groceries away and leave.
When it was time to pick up Uncle Jim, he had me take him to Walgreens to get milk and back home to deposit said milk before he went to work. All the while telling me how bad my brakes were and they were getting worse. He didn't offer anything, in fact, he told me that he was not familiar with my brake system, so he couldn't help me fix them.
When I got home, I looked online to see if I could find anything about replacing brakes on a 2007 PT Cruiser. Low and behold, there was step by step instructions on EHow.com. I showed it to Matt and here's what he said.
Matt: "I'm not replacing the brakes on the car!"
Me: "Why not? Here are step by step instructions, they don't look that hard."
Matt: "Oh yeah? Then why don't you do it?"
Me: "FINE! I will!"
You would think that after 15 years, he wouldn't challenge me like that.
Don't worry folks, I have a plan!
I have apparently fallen down the rabbit hole.
Let me tell you about my day Saturday. At 4am I got up to take Uncle Jim, who still doesn't have a car, to work. I came home at about 5:15 and went back to bed until 8:30. I got up, made breakfast, and got Emerson ready. (Vivi was at my MIL's)
At 10:15am, Emerson and I left the house to drive downtown Chicago to my mother's house so she could go sledding with her friends. We got there at 11am.
From there, I drove back to my Northwest Suburb to pick up my father at 12pm to take him to the hospital.
It was now time to pick up Vivi. From the hospital, I drove 45 minutes south to the Target to meet my Mother-in-Law and to get Vivi. My father asked me to pick up a carton of cigarettes for him as long as I was going that way. (They have less taxes because they are in a different county)
Time to get Uncle Jim!!!! I drove the 45 minutes back to Home Depot to pick him up and take him home, but not without a stop at the grocery store so he can get something for dinner. When that was all done, it was 3pm and you know what that meant??
Emerson needed to be picked up! I had to get her at 4pm, so I had to bust my butt to get back downtown. When she was safely deposited in the car, we had to get moving because...
Dad needed to be picked up at the hospital at 5. I got him home, gave him is cigs, and went home where I promptly made dinner for the family. We had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. But, because I am allegedly trying to be SUPERMOM, the soup was homemade. ( I don't like Campbell's tomato soup and my recipe isn't difficult at all. If you want it, let me know.)
After dinner, we sat down to watch the movie Igor. I, of course missed most of it because I got a phone call.
When I first looked at the phone, I didn't recognize the number, I didn't even recognized the area code! Figuring it was just a wrong number, I picked up. Boy, was that a mistake!!!!!
On the other side of that phone was a voice that I haven't heard in real life in a while. (Although, I have heard it in my nightmares) It was my father's sister, aka my evil Aunt, calling me from Florida. (and she was drunk!!!)
We don't get along, we never got along, I don't plan on ever getting along.
Now, she was calling me to reminisce about my childhood, talk about my dad, tell me how she just got into the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution), and to basically make sure to make me feel bad enough to keep doing what I'm doing.
She wants me to become a DAR, so I guess I could be a Lady who Lunches. The only problem is that I would only be able to lunch at Drive-thrus because...I NEVER GET OUT OF THE STINKIN' CAR!!!!!!!!!
I know, you are probably thinking that she was reaching out to me. No. This is how she works, she keeps her friends close and her enemies closer. I know this because, unfortunately, out of all of my relatives that I could have taken after, I took after her the most.
That's right, I am just like her. Luckily, because my mother is a saint, I am only half evil. I can throw one hell of a temper tantrum, but I feel really bad about it afterwards.
Speaking of my mother, after the call from EA (evil aunt), I texted my mother. Here's what she wrote back.
Omg, omg was she nice?
That's right folks, my mother has turned into a 14-year-old girl.
On Sunday, I took time for myself and took the girls to see Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel. And even though, I told my father that I was going to pick him up after the movie, it didn't stop him from calling me twice during the movie.
Thankfully, I listened to the dancing popcorn and turned off my cell phone.
I'm sorry for not being around lately. Things have been insane around here. My stepmother was taken to the Emergency room the Sunday after Christmas. Now she is in ICU. I have been driving my father to the hospital, doing his laundry, and just trying to help out in any way. Meanwhile, Matt went on nights, so he works 11pm to 7am and then sleeps during the day. He really likes it, but it's taken some time to get used to.
I don't believe I have been this busy when I was working!!! What is it about families? They find out you're at home and all of a sudden they think I'm available to do their bidding.
I am doing my best to stay positive. There were and are a lot of lies told by my father regarding my stepmother. I feel really stupid for believing them when they told me they weren't drinking. Well, now the proof is in the pudding, or in this case, the liver. He still won't admit it.
I'll try to be around a little more and to keep you updated. Hope everyone has a Happy New Year.
