In Preparation for Alice in Wonderland...

I have apparently fallen down the rabbit hole.


Let me tell you about my day Saturday. At 4am I got up to take Uncle Jim, who still doesn't have a car, to work. I came home at about 5:15 and went back to bed until 8:30. I got up, made breakfast, and got Emerson ready. (Vivi was at my MIL's)


At 10:15am, Emerson and I left the house to drive downtown Chicago to my mother's house so she could go sledding with her friends. We got there at 11am.


From there, I drove back to my Northwest Suburb to pick up my father at 12pm to take him to the hospital.


It was now time to pick up Vivi. From the hospital, I drove 45 minutes south to the Target to meet my Mother-in-Law and to get Vivi. My father asked me to pick up a carton of cigarettes for him as long as I was going that way. (They have less taxes because they are in a different county)


Time to get Uncle Jim!!!! I drove the 45 minutes back to Home Depot to pick him up and take him home, but not without a stop at the grocery store so he can get something for dinner. When that was all done, it was 3pm and you know what that meant??


Emerson needed to be picked up! I had to get her at 4pm, so I had to bust my butt to get back downtown. When she was safely deposited in the car, we had to get moving because...


Dad needed to be picked up at the hospital at 5. I got him home, gave him is cigs, and went home where I promptly made dinner for the family. We had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. But, because I am allegedly trying to be SUPERMOM, the soup was homemade. ( I don't like Campbell's tomato soup and my recipe isn't difficult at all. If you want it, let me know.)


After dinner, we sat down to watch the movie Igor. I, of course missed most of it because I got a phone call.


When I first looked at the phone, I didn't recognize the number, I didn't even recognized the area code! Figuring it was just a wrong number, I picked up. Boy, was that a mistake!!!!!


On the other side of that phone was a voice that I haven't heard in real life in a while. (Although, I have heard it in my nightmares) It was my father's sister, aka my evil Aunt, calling me from Florida. (and she was drunk!!!)


We don't get along, we never got along, I don't plan on ever getting along.


Now, she was calling me to reminisce about my childhood, talk about my dad, tell me how she just got into the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution), and to basically make sure to make me feel bad enough to keep doing what I'm doing.


She wants me to become a DAR, so I guess I could be a Lady who Lunches. The only problem is that I would only be able to lunch at Drive-thrus because...I NEVER GET OUT OF THE STINKIN' CAR!!!!!!!!!


I know, you are probably thinking that she was reaching out to me. No. This is how she works, she keeps her friends close and her enemies closer. I know this because, unfortunately, out of all of my relatives that I could have taken after, I took after her the most.


That's right, I am just like her. Luckily, because my mother is a saint, I am only half evil. I can throw one hell of a temper tantrum, but I feel really bad about it afterwards.


Speaking of my mother, after the call from EA (evil aunt), I texted my mother. Here's what she wrote back.


Omg, omg was she nice?


That's right folks, my mother has turned into a 14-year-old girl.


On Sunday, I took time for myself and took the girls to see Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel. And even though, I told my father that I was going to pick him up after the movie, it didn't stop him from calling me twice during the movie.


Thankfully, I listened to the dancing popcorn and turned off my cell phone.