Sunday, January 11, 2009

We Need to Start Looking A Little Closer At Our Movie Selections

Last night Matt got home at a decent hour, so we decided we would take Emerson to dinner and a movie. Vivi didn't get dropped off yesterday because of the 12" of snow, so it was just the three of us.

It's nice to go to a movie that is not necessarily a "kid's movie". As long as it doesn't have gratuitous sex scenes or a lot of violence, it's on like Donkey Kong.

Em's been bugging us to see the movie "Bride Wars". I looked it up and although it got some really crappy reviews, it was rated PG. The reviews don't bother me, I tend to love what the critics hate and vice versa. So off we went.

The evening started, after we dug out the car, at Steak and Shake for dinner. We went to go up and pay and Matt realized that he left the debit card in his work van. I went into my purse to get cash, and my wallet wasn't in it. I had left it next to the computer at home!

So while Matt ran back to the house to get the money to pay for the dinner we just ate, Emerson and I were held at Steak and Shake for collateral.

It took him a little longer than I had expected to come back and I couldn't help my over active imagination to start running away.

"What if he finally saw his opportunity and just took off?"

"He left me and our oldest at Steak and Shake!"

"I'm going to have to wash dishes for 5 cents an hour for a billion hours to pay off our hamburgers!"

"We're going to have to live in the backroom of Steak and Shake!!"

Finally, he came back, paid the bill and we went next door to see the movie. It was technically 15 minutes after the movie was suppose to start, but when we walked into the theater it was just the opening credits. You got to love previews for this exact reason.

After the movie, this is the conversation between Emerson and I when Matt went to go get the car.

Em: "I really liked that movie!" "How did you like it, Mommy?"

Me: "Actually Em, I hated it."

Em: "Why?"

Me: "I really don't want to talk about it right now, Em."

Just then, Matt pulled up and we got into the car.

Em: "Daddy, I really liked the movie, but Mommy hated it."

Matt: "Yeah, that was a rough one for Mommy."

Em: "I don't understand why?"

Matt: "I'll explain later."

So, here's the reason. It never occurred to me that I would get so upset with a movie about 2 best friends. I have seen a million movies and none of them effected me this way.

Maybe it's because the friends have a falling out and do really awful things to each other then forgive and are closer than ever? (Sorry for the spoiler but you had to have seen that coming!)

There was a speech at the end that struck me pretty hard. It goes on and on about a soul mate not necessarily being your spouse but your best friend. That was rough!

I have said before that I am fine, and I don't want her to be my friend anymore. It's true, but there was a time when we talked everyday, laughed about the stupidest stuff, we knew everything about each other. That's gone. Never to return. And for that, I am sad.

Those feelings don't surface very often, but unfortunately, Bride Wars brought them all up. It's not the movie's fault, it just happens. I don't want to be like this, I like movies like that, but I may have to rethink seeing them for a little while. But due to my massive list of movies I don't see, I may not have much of a choice.

I'll get over it. See? I just did.


Call Me Cate said...

I had that experience with a film and it left me sobbing for an entire weekend. So glad I was home alone at the time. It's amazing how sometimes the most seemingly innocuous movies (or songs, or tv shows, or books) strike us to the core.

Poetikat said...

Falling out with your best friend is rough. I have done so a couple of times. The best friend I grew up with turned into someone else when she met a jerk (we were in high school - he was from a different school) - turned on her family, left home and (it ended up that he beat her). She never forgave me for telling her parents she was with him ( I knew he was a self-centred Asshat from day ONE). We never renewed our friendship. Sometimes you just have to let it be.

Another friend got mad at me at a dance club because I was with a guy and she wasn't and she was left alone. Okay, that wasn't a very nice thing to do to her, but you would think she could have forgiven me that one indiscretion. She never did.

People come and go in our lives. As we mature, we realize who's really important and the people who understand us and love us unconditionally are the people we should be friends with. It hurts, but sometimes you just have to move on.


LadyStyx said...

When I was first dating my present hubby, he'd brought me to a movie. I figure it'd be safe to see as it's a comedy with Jim Carrey in it. Well, I was so damn wrong. The movie, for the most part, was funny as hell...except this one scene, where they're arguing... that to me in a big way. Thank goodness for a dark theatre because those tears just wouldnt stop falling no matter what for the whole damn movie. Even to this day, I still have trouble with that particular scene in the movie and I've been divorced from the jerk that gave me those feelings for over 3 years now...

Cammie said...

I cant recall if you came across my blog before or after I had my big friend breakup about a month ago. It sucks. Just this past week I went from pissed to sad. While I still know it was for the best it is still sad. I know how you feel. And I will wait to see Bride Wars until it comes out on DVD

R Susanna said...

I had a falling out with one of my best friends when I was 22...over a guy if you can believe that. We had been friends since seventh grade. We have never spoken to each other since then. The whole thing was so silly but she refused to listen to me. I got over it. I figured I don't need anyone like that in my life. I believe a true friend will always give you the benefit of the doubt.

Punkn said...

It's going to take time... The wounds are still raw and I can see where a movie like that would hit you pretty hard. Maybe you should have washed dishes instead of going to the movies ;)

Anonymous said...

Songs hold memories for me, but never a movie. I've lost friends in the past too, or guess I should say I've given up friends in the past. Sometimes people are in our lives only temporarily so that we can learn a life lesson.

The Blue Ridge Gal

Tori_z said...


No matter how healed you think a wound is there will be certain things that trigger memories of the pain or sadness. I don't know if avoiding movies like that will make any difference. I mean, something else will trigger memories anyway. All you can really do is try not to let your sorrow and hurt take over and rule your life.

I'm sure Emerson is now very confused as to why you didn't enjoy the movie. Perhaps you can think of some sort of explanation without telling her too much? Just a thought.

Zen Ventures said...

Maybe the movie was a blessing in disguise. Maybe there is something deep within you that still pines for her friendship. Life has a strange way of throwing the obvious sometimes. But I'm sure you'll get over it. Didn't you just do? :)

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry, it sucks when something like that upsets you. Breaking up with a friend is just as bad as a divorce.

ChicagoLady said...

I wanted to see that movie but now you've ruined the ending for me!!!!

J/K, I still want to go see it.

I'm sorry you had a hard time with it. It will take time, but eventually you'll be able to see these kinds of movies again. Until then, go see movies like Valkyrie or Deception. Those will definitely take your mind off things.

Rebecca Jo said...

Dang... hate it brought everything back up... movies have a way of bringing up things though that still fester in our lives.... Now, go see Twilight again - it'll make you feel better!

Becky said...

I am sorry! That really sucks that that seemed to just reopen your wound. It sounds like you have it worked out enough to know though that being apart is what is healthiest for you. I had an evil falling out once that consumed me, and distancing myself from the situation was what was best for me. But I know how hard that is to have all those emotions eating at you.
Hang in there, and try to get your mind on something else! I like the last suggestion of watching Twilight again! you can never get too much of that:)

heathersister said...

Yup, you are going to have to avoid movies like that for a while.

Until then, you have us! Don't forget that. You share and laugh with us every day too, right!?

Sorry about the 12" of snow. That sucks.

merc3069 said...

ah---that sucks. I am really hurting for you.

Anna Lefler said...

OK, first of all, I loves me some Steak N Shake. YUM.

Second, I'm really sorry the movie snuck up on you like that. I get ambushed every now and then and it's just awful.

I hope you're feeling better and are on an intensive Mel Brooks recovery regime.



Minxy Mimi said...

I am sorry. Fallings out between best friends is so hard. I hate that empty feeling when you want to laugh and share something and you cannot.
Sorry the movie upset you.

Heather said...

Yep, Michelle is right, you have us, and that's way better than a bitchy ex-friend. Now you just need our phone numbers so we can talk on the phone. Warning: I don't text, but Michelle does. Just so you know.

OMG, Gabe just came up to me saying "Look, MOM!".

He has no underwear on, and he has his manhood hanging out of the top of pj's.

"You wanna take a pitcher of me, Mom? Huh?"

Um, no. And don't do that at school, Gabe. Or around your sister. Okay?

Don't you wish you had a Gabe?

Intense Guy said...

I don't even want to see the movie...I jsut want to look at Anne Hathaway for a few hours...

Look at the bright side, you are worth something as collatorial at a Steak and Shake!

A. said...

A friend breakup can be just as bad as a love-relationship breakup; it is just heartbreaking to lose someone that you love.
I lost a great friend years ago, but I still think about her all the time, and sometimes I really miss her.
Sorry about the public movie-ambush. That's terrible.