Friday, October 1, 2010

Is That Inspector Clouseau???

No, it's just me.
Every morning, I make Matt draw a mustache on the inside of my finger. I think it's hysterical and I'm immature like that.

I'm thinking I should just get a tattoo of my little mustache.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

An Update on Matt

Matt is doing really well. After he spent 4 days in ICU and then another 3 days out of ICU but still in the hospital, they finally let him go home. Then it was my turn to take care of him. I felt like the time they just sent me home from the hospital with a newborn. What am I suppose to do now????

He was sent home with a Life Vest. It's actually a defibrillator vest that he has to wear all the time. If his heart suddenly stops, it will shock him. He has to wear it for 3 months, and if his heart functions don't improve, they will implant a defibrillator inside his chest. The funniest thing is the way this thing looks when he wears it. For the first week, if he had his shirt off, the girls and I would walk past him saying "Nice bra!"

The only diet restrictions he is on right now is his sugars. He as type 2 Diabetes and, from what I could tell, the meds that he was on before wasn't really controlling it. He now has to give himself insulin injections after each meal. It's not too bad changing our diets, I found a lot of great recipes online and I bought a cookbook named 1001 delicious recipes for Diabetics. I am also trying to cook fish at least once a week. This is huge because I HATE fish. But I am willing to try it for the sake of his health. We also take a walk as a family after dinner.

The biggest lifestyle change is that Matt and I have both quit smoking. I know that we should have done this a long time ago, but it took something this major to finally get it through our thick skulls! I am officially 2 weeks smoke free!!!! (Matt's a little longer because I finished off the carton that we bought before the heart attack.)

It's not as hard as I thought. We just have to remember if he smokes, he dies. If I smoke, he dies. Easy peasey lemon squeezey!!!

The worst part was that poor Matt had to spend his birthday in the hospital. But I tried to make the best of it for him. I brought him some party hats and his birthday present consisted of board games and card games. I sat in the hospital with him all day and played games with him. I also took a few pictures.

He just went for his "post heart attack" stress test, and the doctors were impressed with how well he's doing. There are 5 phases to the stress test, and he got through 3/4 of the 3rd phase. Most victims only get through 2 phases.

It's a long road, but we are all heading down it together and Matt is doing great.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Class of 1990!!

This Saturday, I am suppose to attend my 20 year class reunion. When I RSVP'd a month ago, I was excited! I mean I had a month to drop a few pounds, get a new outfit, and basically glam myself up, right?

WRONG!!!!!! Since I RSVP'd, I have not had a moment to myself! In fact, up until yesterday, I had forgotten about it completely.

Now here we are, less than 5 days away and I am stuck. My roots are out of control and I can't get into the salon. I don't have anything spectacular to wear, and needless to say, I haven't been to the gym in months.

What's a girl to do? I called my friend DeeDee and told her that I feel too fat and ugly to attend.

Her response was "GET OVER IT!!!"

She asked me if there were people going that I really wanted to see? I said yes and she said. "Do you really care what they look like now or if they gained some weight since high school?"

No! I couldn't care less if they gained weight. They were my friends and I would love to see them again!

So, I'm going to stop being so vain, go and have a good time.

This is what I looked like back in the day. (I'm the blond one) If I look any different than this, it can only be an improvement. LOL!

Monday, September 27, 2010

Thump...Thump...Is This Thing On?

Is there anyone out there????? Can you hear me????? Do you even care anymore????

Life has definitely thrown us some curves this last year. I am currently not employed but I definitely am working. Between my father, my family and now a great uncle, I am busier than a one-armed paper hanger!

First the good news, after a year and a half of driving him to and from work, Uncle Jim FINALLY got a car!!!!

Emerson started middle school and Vivienne started Kindergarten. They both seem to be enjoying it.

Matt got a new job with his company so he is now in the office. Which didn't come a moment too soon. Because on Sept. 4th Matt suffered a massive heart attack.

He's fine now and on the fast road to recovery (he wrote a post about it). But I can't tell you how scared I was.

I also have a great uncle whom I have been looking after. His name is Tom, he's 82 and lives alone, so we started doing odd jobs for him.

Last week, I went to the DMV to get his vehicle sticker. I called him to ask him a question and it turned out that he was stuck in bed with a twisted knee. I wasn't able to get into the house, so he had to try to open the window and throw me the keys. When I got in there, he couldn't get up to get anything to drink or eat. He couldn't get his meds that were in the kitchen or my phone number, He was trapped and I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't called him!

His "twisted knee" turned out to be an infection in his knee replacement. He is still in the hospital and called me almost hourly when I am not there with some problem.

Last night it was because he believed that his penis had disappeared. I went there this morning and assured him that it was still there without actually having to verify it. The meds that they have him on make him a little loopy.

Now that the kids are back in school, and Matt's back at work, I have a few minutes for myself. I am going to blogging again and I will be over to read all of you guys too.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

I hope everyone had a nice Easter.

Another one from Ladystyxx. Thank you!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

Thank you Ladystyxx!!!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Small, And A Little Humorous Glimps Into My Current Life.

I know, I've been a very bad blogger. For a while I just lost interest in doing it. It makes me wonder if I had been suffering from some sort of depression, they always say that it's a sign when you suddenly lose interest in things that you normally love to do. I don't know.

Anyway, I wanted to catch you guys up in what is going on around here.

Emerson and Vivienne are still doing very well in school. They both seem to love it, which makes life just a little easier.

Emerson, who is turning 11 on April 19th, (11 going on 30) is really looking forward to middle school because they don't have to wear uniforms. Her current school is the only public school in the district that requires uniforms. She has told us that she doesn't want anything big on her birthday, she wants to wait until July so she can have a big "back to school" shopping spree at Justice. The current style she would like to emulate is Selena Gomez/Alex from Wizards of Waverly Place. (which is really cute in a non-slutty sort of way)

She is so smart and witty, it just amazes me! We were watching the news when they announced that Tiger Woods was going to hold a press conference and make a public apology, and this is what she said.

"Tiger Woods owes me nothing. No apology, no explanation. He only needs to apologize to his wife, it's none of my business."

I just love that!!!

Matt came out of the bathroom after he shave his beard off and asked the girls if they noticed anything different.

Girls: "Um...No."

Matt: " Do you notice anything missing on me"

Emerson: "Your dignity?"

I honestly laughed for about an hour!!!

Vivienne's current obsession is still KISS. We gave her KISS action figures for Valentine's day and her favorite thing to wear is her KISS t-shirt. When I drive her to school, I have to play Detroit Rock City on the MP3 player because "It gets me going in the morning, Mommy."

She also still has her imaginary friend, Stacy, and Stacy still get herself into some unusual predicaments.

Matt's work has slowed down and he is now 7 days on, 7 days off. It makes things a little tight. But we are managing.

As for me, there are still times that I find myself looking around to see if there are cameras following me like "The Truman Show".

I now go to the gym 4 days a week. Mondays are with my trainer Peter. He is a former Marine (although I've always heard once a Marine, always a Marine) He is very sweet, even though he KICKS MY ASS any chance he gets!!!!

The first week, he gave me a strength test, just to see what I could do. I couldn't walk for 2 days after that.

The second week, one of the exercises that he made me do was to "bear crawl" across the basketball court. That is crawling on your feet and hands. For 4 days, it was hard for me to get out of the car.

The third week, he put a resistance band around my waist and made me pull him across the basketball court like a sled dog. Either he took it easy on me or I'm getting better because I wasn't nearly as sore as usual. I can't wait to see what's in store for me on Monday.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I do the homework that Peter assigned for me. He has pain stakingly laid out a workout plan for me. 3 days working 2 different muscle groups a day. I also have to do 30 minutes of cardio on all 4 days that I go to the gym. He told me that I could for go one of the days if I took a class. I take flow yoga on Fridays.

So far, I have lost 11/2" off my bust, 3 1/2" off my waist, 1 3/4" off of my hips and 6lbs.

One of the reasons I joined this particular gym was because they have a pool, sauna, steam room and a whirlpool. And it's only $39 a month with no contracts. I do pay extra for Peter, but if I wouldn't be doing nearly as well if I didn't have his guidance.

The first week, I decided that I was going to try out the pool. Even though it's been a while, I am an excellent swimmer and figured it would be easy... I WAS WRONG!!! I could barely do a lap!!!! I would swim a little, mostly in side stroke, and then walk a lap. But each week, I am doing so much better. It has now gotten to the point where I don't have to walk at all, I just swim in both breast stroke and front crawl.

Last week, I found a race online. It's called The Warrior Dash. It's 3.17 miles with 12 insane obstacles. After you complete it, you get a warrior hat and a beer. You can check it out at it is all over the United States, so maybe one of you would be interested in running it too.

That should do it for now, I have some funny gym stories but that will give me something to write next week.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!!

Well, I've been busier than a one armed paper hanger!! But, now we're on spring break so I have some room to breathe. I have a few stories from the gym that I want to tell you this week. But for now....

Monday, March 15, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

What I wouldn't do for a stiff wind right now!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Review of Alice in Wonderland

Sorry I haven't updated the blog in a while. As I've mentioned before, I've joined a gym and I have a trainer named Pete. Pete is a Marine and happens to be kicking my ass! I've been so sore that I hardly have been able to move my arms without seeing stars!

But day by day it's getting better, (I think). The good news is, I'm not quite at the end of week two, and I've lost 6 lbs. So it must be working, right?

But anyways, Matt, Emerson and I went to go see Alice in Wonderland last Sunday! (Vivienne did not join us, as she freaked out at the TV commercials and actually said, "I don't want to see that!"). Many of you have been wondering how I liked it, so here is a short review.

Johnny Depp... YUMMY!

How was that?... Oh, you want MORE?... Okay then...

I'll give you a little taste of the beginning of the film, but you'll need to see the film to get the "Wonderland" side of it.

When it came to bringing the whimsical world of Lewis Carroll's classic to life, Tim Burton was the perfect man for the job!

Tim Burton has always been known for his outlandish style, but nothing prepares you for the magical world of Underland that he has made for us to see. (And no, "Underland" is NOT a misspelling. It's explained VERY well in the film.)

The story takes place 13 years after the original story of "Alice in Wonderland". Alice is now a 19 year old young lady, still morning the death of her father, who died a year prior to the story at hand. She is now faced with having to accept the proposal, of a very homely looking young Duke, whom she does not love, only because her family doesn't want her to become a spinster and a burden on her aging and widowed mother.

All during these scenes, Alice thinks she's seeing things, as a white rabbit dressed in a blue vest is barely seen several different times, running through bushes and across the yards.

Running away, because she "needs a moment alone to think", she spots the rabbit again, and as she chases after it she happens upon a large hole at the base of a tree. When she goes to look down it, the ground around the hole gives way and the adventure truly begins.

All of the old favorites are back, the Caterpillar, Tweetle Dee and Tweetle Dum, The White Rabbit, The March Hare, The Door Mouse, Cheshire Cat, The Queen of Hearts and the one, the only Mad Hatter.

A few new characters are introduced to us, such as the White Queen and a few other surprises.

As we get to "Underland", no one thinks that Alice actually is "The" Alice. And Alice thinks they have the WRONG Alice and is convinced it is all nothing but a dream she can't wake up from for some reason.

The special effects are absolutely out of this world and the acting of Johnny Depp are equally impressive! (And NOT because I'm totally in love with him).

Johnny Depp's take on the Mad Hatter is a man with a split personality. A high pitched lisping madman at one moment and a low voiced distinguished Scottish gentleman the next. Sometimes even mixing to two voices in the same sentence. Absolutely amazing is the range of his performance!

I have no idea how I can look at someone with yellow eyes, blue eyelashes big bushy orange hair and looks like he is suffering from mercury poisoning and still be totally in love!

The one main thing I noticed in this film is that everyone, (and I mean EVERYONE, including young Alice), has dark circles under their eyes! Is that the new look? Dark circles??? Because if THAT'S the case then you can consider me totally fashion forward! LOL!

One more thing that I will mention is that, we did NOT see this movie in 3D. I get way to motion sick at things like that and didn't want to take the chance at having to leave during a Johnny Depp scene to go throw up.

I give the movie 5 stars and two big thumbs up! If you want a totally enjoyable 2 hours out, I will definitely recommend this movie to you!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

I joined a gym and today is my first appointment with my new trainer, Pete. He's a Marine. I'm scared!! Pray for me and I will update you tomorrow.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

I See This Kid Running Playboy One Day.

Yesterday was my day to be Room Mom for Vivi's preschool. I do have to say, even though I come out of it exhausted, I do have fun with these kids.

There are 22 kids in the class and because last Wednesday was a snow day and they didn't have school on Monday due to President's day, they postponed their Valentine's day party until today.

This was very good news for me because that meant the other parents signed up to bring something and I didn't have to bring a snack.

It's not that I don't want to buy a snack, it's just that I tend to over think it. I really want the snack to be nutritious, but I also want the kids to like me the best. I usually try to bring Pirate's Booty, string cheese, pretzels, juice and fruit because I worry that some kids might have allergies or they prefer one to the other. (I am so neurotic!) The result is that these kids get a variable feast on the days I'm there. (I also gravitate to the non-messy food. A little trick I learn from years of being a "Backstage Mom" at dance recitals.) But, I didn't have to this time, all I had to do was show up with my kid and her valentines. Woo-Hoo!

We started out the morning with circle time. Because I was Room Mom, Vivi got to dress the paper frog on the bulletin board for the weather and put the date on the calendar (Both are very coveted jobs) We read a story about 2 Crazy Pigs that I found a tad disturbing. First the farmer and his wife kick the 2 pigs off the farm for being crazy and then moved to the city and abandoned the rest of the animals. Luckily, the pigs found a new farm and the rest of the animals were welcome there too. Phew!! I was on pins and needles for a minute there wondering what would happen to those poor farm animals!

After circle time, the kids went to go play and one of the teachers and I brought a few at a time to the table to decorate their Valentine's shoe boxes. This was fun because you got to talk to each of them one on one. The girls really like when I showed them how to glue a heart shaped doily on to a construction paper heart to make a lace heart.

Once everyone made a box, we set them to the side to dry while the kids played and the teachers and I cleaned up and set up for the party.

In order to distract a couple of the little boys from all the food on the table, I got on the floor with them and we played Dinosaurs vs. Soldiers. Within 5 minutes, all the kids were playing with me. Then we played "I bet I can clean up faster than you!" and made a big production when I lost.

Circle Time again!!! This time we dance the chicken dance and the kids did the limbo while I held the stick while the teachers set up the boxes in a line for the Valentine pass out. One by one we helped each child pass out their Valentines.

It was finally time to eat!!! For a special treat, they got ICE CREAM SUNDAES!!!!!!! I was in charge of the toppings. Each child lined up and they told me what they wanted and I put it on the ice cream. They were all so polite!!! Every single one of them said please and thank you.

After they ate, we lined up and went into the gym to let off some steam. Vivi's class is 4 and 5 year olds, but there is another class of 3 year olds. They all go into the gym to play together.

As I was running around with the kids, a little boy from the 3 year old class came up to me.

"You have big boobies!!!"

Then he ran into a group of other laughing 3 year olds.

I suspect that this child dons a silk robe and a pipe when he's at home.

Watch your back Hugh, there's a new kid in town!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

This Must Be Why They Call It "Fat" Tuesday

Today is Ash Wednesday, which means that yesterday was Fat Tuesday. Now, I don't know how the rest of the nation celebrates (Not you NOLA, I am aware of how you celebrate) but in Chicago it is affectionately know as Pączki day.

Here is the Wikipedia definition:

A pączki is a deep-fried piece of dough shaped into a flattened sphere and filled with confiture or other sweet filling. Pączki are usually covered with powdered sugar, icing or bits of dried orange zest. A small amount of grain alcohol (traditionally, Spiritus) is added to the dough before cooking; as it evaporates, it prevents the absorption of oil deep into the dough.
Although they look like
bismarcks or jelly doughnuts, pączki are made from especially rich dough containing eggs, fats, sugar and sometimes milk. They feature a variety of fruit and creme fillings and can be glazed, or covered with granulated or powdered sugar. Powidła (stewed plum jam) and wild rose hip jam are traditional fillings, but many others are used as well, including strawberry, Bavarian cream, blueberry, custard, raspberry and apple.

In a word...HEAVEN!!!! My favorite are the ones that are filled with fresh strawberries and whipped cream

You can only get them this week. But, to me you should only eat a pączki on Fat Tuesday.

At 7:50am, my phone rang with my mother on the other end. She got up early and got over to Dinkel's Bakery on Lincoln Ave and pick up some for me. (Thank God, because there was no way I was getting up early when the kids were both off of school.) I just needed to come and pick them up at her work.

I needed to do a few things, so after I went and talked to Vivi's teacher (I'm room mom today and last week they didn't get to have their Valentine's day party because of the snow. They only go to school on Mondays and Wednesdays, so they are having it today since Monday was President's day) I stopped off at Mom's work. There they were in their pretty pink and white box with the string tied around it. My mouth started to salivate with just the thought of those deep fried little devils!

Because I was already in the neighborhood, I decided to go over to Tony's Italian Deli to pick up Vivi her "meat" (Kraukus ham, she can't get enough. She'll eat it every meal if I let her) I also had to take Uncle Jim to work.

This meant that my Pączki-induced coma was going to be delayed a bit. I carefully put them in the backseat so they were out of my sight. I really didn't want someone to pull up next to me at a stoplight and look over at me with my head stuffed into a bakery box...again.

I walked into the house.

Me: "Happy Pączki DAY!!!! I have Pączkis!!!!"

Emerson: "What are those?"

I open the box to let them bask in the goodness.

Emerson: "They're doughnuts."

Vivi (looking in the other bag I brought in) "Mommy, you got me MEAT!!!!"

Me: "They're are not doughnuts, they're Pączkis. That's Polish for 'better that doughnuts'"
"I got Raspberry and Strawberry with whipped cream."

Emerson: "But, we don't like jelly filled doughnuts."
Vivi: "YUCK!!"
Me: "They're Pączki!!!!!"

Vivi: "Mommy, you make me a samich?"

Emerson (turning her nose up at the bakery box) "Yeah, me too."

Oh well, more for me.

Monday, February 15, 2010

So, Apparently? I'm Twelve.

As a frequent reader to this blog, you are probably aware that I am inclined to have fits of fancy. (Read: complete and udder obsessions) So recently, when I haven't been thinking about Johnny Depp, Twilight, Pin-up Girls, etc. I inadvertently became bat-shit crazy over two new things. (Sorry folks, I searched the Internet for a word that would be equivalent to Bat-shit crazy but nothing really compares.)

The first being an author named Jen Lancaster. She has wrote 4 hysterical books with a new one on the way this spring, I believe.

Bitter is the New Black

Bright Lights, Big Ass

Such a Pretty Fat

Pretty in Plaid

If you find me at all amusing, you definitely have to read her. (Really, go get the books)

She is a woman from Chicago, a little on the zaftig side who suddenly found herself unemployed with no place to wear her designer shoes. She started out blogging, and still does it. (Seriously...why haven't you gotten these books yet? Go...Go...I'll wait)

Her website is

Because we're from the same 'hood, I am temped to go find (read: stalk) her. I know that we would be besties in no time. Matt however reminded me that I once thought Jenny McCarthy and I were going to be besties, but she wasn't that interested when I thrusted my pregnant belly in her face at a book signing. But, I digress.

Jen Lancaster...Read her...Love her.

The second thing that has thrown me into fits of giggles is something called a Penny-tee.

Now if any of you have ever watched the kid's show "ICarly" (and I know some of you do, admit it) you may know what I'm talking about.

A Penny-tee is a ringer t-shirt that is worn by the characters on ICarly. They have random words on them.

I looked all over the place to see if I was able to buy them. I found a few on Cafepress but instead of spending $22+ on one shirt, I just decided to make my own. I bought a few ringer tees at Old Navy for $6 a piece, some iron-on letters for about $3 and put Matt to work. (I'm upper management and he's labor) So far I have:

A blue one that says: Church Pants

A green one that says: Coffee Noodle

A purple one that says: Poodle Juice

A grey one that says: Elecric Ham (It was suppose to say Electric Ham, but Matt forgot to put on the "T". I just wear that one to bed with my SpongeBob pajama pants.)

So, there you have it. More proof that I am distracted by new and shiny things. As someone famous once said "I don't suffer from ADD, I simply...Oh look! A Squirrel!!"

Johnny Depp Monday!!

I have been a very delinquent blogger. There is no excuse, but I am now moving forward. I have made a commitment that I will be back in the bloggy world starting today. I am going post more and more. I am a Narcissus and I need the attention. I can't guarantee that they'll all be literary gems, but they will be true stories. (As unbelievable as some of them are)

I will also be reading and commenting on everybody. So, put on your Sunday best kiddies, I'm coming over. (And if you could lay out some of those Mint Milano...that would be SUPER!!)

So, the first order of business to get me out of my blog funk is...

That just puts it all in perspective, doesn't it???

Monday, February 8, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

Sorry this is a little late. We had a whole day of doctor and dentist appointments.

I don't know about Vanessa...but I'll CUT A BITCH!!!!!!

Monday, February 1, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

Oh yeah...That's the stuff!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hurricane Erin

Things are starting to get back to normal this week. But last week? It is definitely going to take some time to recover.

The week consisted of Erin and I running around to help out with the preparations for the services. I spent a lot of time in the car, and a lot of money on gas.

At times, we were at each other's throats. But there were a few moments that made us laugh out loud.

She texted something to one of her friends at home and the friend wrote back, (y) yeah!

When she showed it to me, I said "Ass yeah?"

Well, that got us into a giggle fit and when she texted her friend to find out what it meant, they said it was suppose to be a thumbs up. That made us laugh even harder. So from now on Erin and my favorite saying is "ASS YEAH!!" We said it for everything!

On Thursday, Erin was feeling a little helpless so she offered to make Dad some oxtail soup. (basically a beef barley soup) I took her to the store and dropped her off at Dad's to start the soup while I ran some errands. When I got back, Erin realized that she wasn't going to be able to finish the soup because it actually has to be refrigerated overnight and she wasn't going to be back on Friday except for the wake.

So, on Friday morning after I picked up Uncle Jim, I had to go over to dad's and finish the soup.

On the way over there, I called her and yelled "Next time you volunteer to make soup, I'M GONNA PUNCH YOU IN THE NOSE!!!!"

Then we laughed really hard.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

I don't know about you, but I almost lost my shit yesterday!!!

As usual, I went on to find a Johnny Depp picture, and this is what came up.

Johnny Depp Dies in Car Crash

OMG!!!! After I got out of the fetal position, I started clicking furiously, barely able to see through the tears in my eyes.

It was a HOAX!!! He is not dead. I repeat... NOT DEAD!!!

What would I have done???

So, here's a picture of the very much alive, Johnny.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday

With a heavy heart, I give you this week's Johnny.

We took my stepmom, Barb, off of life support yesterday and she passed peacefully in her sleep.

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

The Gauntlet has Been Thrown!

Yesterday was a little rough. It seems that all the men in my life decided to be a jerk.

First, I went to do my father's grocery shopping. My stepmother is still in the hospital, but she is out of ICU. We are no way out of the woods, but it is a step forward.

Anyway, I went to dad's to get his list. His best friend is staying with him, so there were things on the list for him as well. When I returned after the shopping they were eating a very nice breakfast of eggs and toast.

When I walked in carrying all the grocery bags this is what was said.

Dad: (loud and snarky) "You have got to be kidding ME!!!" "Did YOU want some breakfast???!!"

I thought to myself, "Well dad, with such a nice and warm invitation like that, how can I refuse?"

But instead I just said "No, thank you." and proceeded to put all the groceries away and leave.

When it was time to pick up Uncle Jim, he had me take him to Walgreens to get milk and back home to deposit said milk before he went to work. All the while telling me how bad my brakes were and they were getting worse. He didn't offer anything, in fact, he told me that he was not familiar with my brake system, so he couldn't help me fix them.

When I got home, I looked online to see if I could find anything about replacing brakes on a 2007 PT Cruiser. Low and behold, there was step by step instructions on I showed it to Matt and here's what he said.

Matt: "I'm not replacing the brakes on the car!"

Me: "Why not? Here are step by step instructions, they don't look that hard."

Matt: "Oh yeah? Then why don't you do it?"

Me: "FINE! I will!"

You would think that after 15 years, he wouldn't challenge me like that.

Don't worry folks, I have a plan!

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

In Preparation for Alice in Wonderland...

I have apparently fallen down the rabbit hole.

Let me tell you about my day Saturday. At 4am I got up to take Uncle Jim, who still doesn't have a car, to work. I came home at about 5:15 and went back to bed until 8:30. I got up, made breakfast, and got Emerson ready. (Vivi was at my MIL's)

At 10:15am, Emerson and I left the house to drive downtown Chicago to my mother's house so she could go sledding with her friends. We got there at 11am.

From there, I drove back to my Northwest Suburb to pick up my father at 12pm to take him to the hospital.

It was now time to pick up Vivi. From the hospital, I drove 45 minutes south to the Target to meet my Mother-in-Law and to get Vivi. My father asked me to pick up a carton of cigarettes for him as long as I was going that way. (They have less taxes because they are in a different county)

Time to get Uncle Jim!!!! I drove the 45 minutes back to Home Depot to pick him up and take him home, but not without a stop at the grocery store so he can get something for dinner. When that was all done, it was 3pm and you know what that meant??

Emerson needed to be picked up! I had to get her at 4pm, so I had to bust my butt to get back downtown. When she was safely deposited in the car, we had to get moving because...

Dad needed to be picked up at the hospital at 5. I got him home, gave him is cigs, and went home where I promptly made dinner for the family. We had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. But, because I am allegedly trying to be SUPERMOM, the soup was homemade. ( I don't like Campbell's tomato soup and my recipe isn't difficult at all. If you want it, let me know.)

After dinner, we sat down to watch the movie Igor. I, of course missed most of it because I got a phone call.

When I first looked at the phone, I didn't recognize the number, I didn't even recognized the area code! Figuring it was just a wrong number, I picked up. Boy, was that a mistake!!!!!

On the other side of that phone was a voice that I haven't heard in real life in a while. (Although, I have heard it in my nightmares) It was my father's sister, aka my evil Aunt, calling me from Florida. (and she was drunk!!!)

We don't get along, we never got along, I don't plan on ever getting along.

Now, she was calling me to reminisce about my childhood, talk about my dad, tell me how she just got into the DAR (Daughters of the American Revolution), and to basically make sure to make me feel bad enough to keep doing what I'm doing.

She wants me to become a DAR, so I guess I could be a Lady who Lunches. The only problem is that I would only be able to lunch at Drive-thrus because...I NEVER GET OUT OF THE STINKIN' CAR!!!!!!!!!

I know, you are probably thinking that she was reaching out to me. No. This is how she works, she keeps her friends close and her enemies closer. I know this because, unfortunately, out of all of my relatives that I could have taken after, I took after her the most.

That's right, I am just like her. Luckily, because my mother is a saint, I am only half evil. I can throw one hell of a temper tantrum, but I feel really bad about it afterwards.

Speaking of my mother, after the call from EA (evil aunt), I texted my mother. Here's what she wrote back.

Omg, omg was she nice?

That's right folks, my mother has turned into a 14-year-old girl.

On Sunday, I took time for myself and took the girls to see Alvin and the Chipmunks the Squeakquel. And even though, I told my father that I was going to pick him up after the movie, it didn't stop him from calling me twice during the movie.

Thankfully, I listened to the dancing popcorn and turned off my cell phone.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Johnny Depp Monday!

Just in case you haven't seen it.

Friday, January 8, 2010

My Absenteeism.

I'm sorry for not being around lately. Things have been insane around here. My stepmother was taken to the Emergency room the Sunday after Christmas. Now she is in ICU. I have been driving my father to the hospital, doing his laundry, and just trying to help out in any way. Meanwhile, Matt went on nights, so he works 11pm to 7am and then sleeps during the day. He really likes it, but it's taken some time to get used to.

I don't believe I have been this busy when I was working!!! What is it about families? They find out you're at home and all of a sudden they think I'm available to do their bidding.

I am doing my best to stay positive. There were and are a lot of lies told by my father regarding my stepmother. I feel really stupid for believing them when they told me they weren't drinking. Well, now the proof is in the pudding, or in this case, the liver. He still won't admit it.

I'll try to be around a little more and to keep you updated. Hope everyone has a Happy New Year.